Lesson Plan : Shame

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 Shame and Gestalt Therapy
 shame, realtional strivings, field, individualism, relational model, yearning, ground shame, introjects, support, creative adjustment, regulator at boundary, field sensitive practice, experiment, blue prints, interpersonal bridge, therapuetic relationship as critical in healing and supporting shame couples esculating, shame difficulty to see, defensive behaviours, shifting shame onto others, undoing knots of couples shame cycles, gestalt phenomenological base, contextualistic, I/thou worldview, shame natural retroflection, gestalt understands that the person is seen as negotiating co-constructing, and exploring at hte boundary of the iner and outer worlds, shame in this view can serve to signal that the state of the conection at the boundary is threatened or needs attention. shame can hodd one back or make one attend to another person and his or her need of me - possibly at the temporary cost of my own self-expressiveness. Shame becomes dysfunctional as it becomes internalised. Most often starts in childhood...nuturers unable to notice, accept, respond adequately to need, affect or sense of purpose of the child....repeated shame intrnalised linkage is created between shame and the particular need, affect or sense of purpose. continued shame sequences the child loses awareness of the original feeling or desire and just experiences shame. Loses a voice. no one there to receive the voice. voice seen as shameful....also less able to inform the world about who she is. impossible to go through life and not develop shame binds - grils are shamed at developing sense of competence - nice girls aren\\\'t forward - and boys shamed around their feelings of distress, sadness and most excruciatingly, shame itself - \\
 1. to understand shame in the context of the field 2. to identify what shame is; to observe the gestalt approach to working with shame 3. identify types of shame; look at shame in the context of couples.
 1. identify the effects of shame generally and with your own life. 2. to practice field awareness 3. identify the protective workings of shame and the stiffling nature of it 4. to observe body language of shame and respond to it identifying which is every day shame/ ground shame. 5. to practice creating safe conditions for working with shame.
 butchers paper/ music (CDS), powerpoint display maybe/ handout on objectives/ reading list/ macadamia nuts
 1. how shame theory impacts me and how i love the way it brings in our subjective experience/ but takes in the aprasial of the group and the field. 2. The macadamia nut is our prop 3. explain the gestalt model as a wholistic one and way shame is secondary emption...an emotion about emotions....inappropriate emotions....it is the way the organism reads the field. (read lee)
 1. individualism versus relational paradigm/ two states shame and belonging 2. macadamia nut holding the the need for conditions...the shell holding the decision boundary of whether to come out or not 2. therapuetic solution is to take both individual and field into account 3. shame as regulator at the boundary 4. support allows person to take risks shame allos person to pull back 5. need to understand people according to their relational longings 6. a we consistently get ignored the need itself gets fused with the emotion of shame...and all we then experience is shame and not the need 7. differences between shame and introject
 C. Practice- 1. look at time when things went wrong 2. look at a time when you were held and listened to 3. look at how you responded 4. brainstorm the practices 5. brainstorm the caring practices 6. what do you need in a shame attack? your c/a as a response to shame attack what was the original context in your family? 7. looking at how is it that you feel you didn't beling???????/
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