Twins & Classroom Placement...

[twingirlsmom]

Should twins be separated or remain in the same class?
I am a mom to 4-year-old twins [I]and [/I]I was a 1st grade teacher up until I had them. I see both sides of the issue and even recommended to my twin parents to separate! Other moms from a twins club I am a part of have been very vocal about the importance of leaving them together; however, as a former educator I lean towards separating them starting in 1st grade. I feel the pros of separating far outweigh the cons.
Have you experience this and what do you think?

[Kellykid8]

I am a twin myself, though now an adult (44) and a preschool teacher, for 12 years. I've had many sets of twins in my classroom, as most of the families we've had I am a twin and understand that special bond between twins that you don't really ever have with your other brothers and sisters. That being said, I completely understand your doublemindedness in this issuse. The girls are close and have a special relationship, but the teacher in you understands the conflict. The girls could work together on homework, if one is in need the
other can help, they'll always have a best friend. The teahcer will always confuse them, you'll have to have good identifiers so you can tell (visually) from across the room, who is who, a different color shirt or hair tie... There will always be the accidental oh I thought you were the other one, for the REST of their lives already. The idea that they would be in different classroom and have different teachers and friends is difficult, they should be best friends and it's would be really hard when they grow up and want to do different things, without each other and you think if only. So it seems no matter what you do you'll have guilt. I would say that while they are only 4now, keep them together to build that bond between them. Being a twin is unique and as a twin you feel special. You have something not too many people get to experience. I'd say as elementary students it's ok to keep them together, providing that they enjoy each others company (as I always did/do) with each other. As they get to Junior high, those are already difficult years. I'd suggest that they start the day together (first period) and end it together (last period) and give them some choices for selecting their own classes for the other class periods (Junior High- and high school). My twin and I still remain close there isn't a day that goes by that we don't talk or visit. We always watched out for each other and as we got older still had each other but made friends with other people. Though at the end of the day we always came back together. Sometimes I wished (then) I had my own identitiy and wasn't one of the twins, or constantly being asked which one are you? Though I had no regrets. My parents were old school and felt like we had to be together, always. But if your girls enjoy being together, as not all twins like being a twin or enjoy each others company then by al means keep them together as long as it works for them. Sometimes one leans on the other more than they should, if that is the case maybe by 2nd or 3rd grade it would be appropriate to put them into seperate classrooms (for learnings sake). Good Luck. Kellykid8
[email]PSTeacherMPrice@aol.com[/email]

Dear Mom of Twins,
As a teacher, I always asked that twins be together. I am a twin and my identical twin sister was dependent on me more than I was on her. We only had 1/2 day kindergarten, so that was not a problem. However in first grade my sister had a poor teacher and I had a strong teacher. The same thing happened in second grade. By October of second grade, her eyes had physically dropped. She spent 2 weeks in the hospital trying to find out what was wrong, only to learn she missed me. After that we were always in the same class. Within two months, her eyes lifted back up and she picked up all the skills missed by working with me. The school phychologist did a study on the two of us. He first gave us a test together. We both scored high and 1 point away from each other. He then gave us the same test separately. We both scored lower, but still 1 point away from each other. He concluded that we worked better when we were together in the same room and not necessarily side by side. You may want to do some informal testing to see how they work with one another and how they work separately. I also may suggest that you leave them together and then in about the 3rd grade, ask them if they want to be in the same room. If either says yes, I suggest you leave them together. One twin is usually more independent than the other. They will separate when they are ready. Good Luck! It is so hard to tell sometimes what to do.

My twins were together K-2nd grade. Their school got a new principal for third grade and of course they were separated. As parents of twins, you always worry that you are making the right decision so ignoring the feeling in my gut I encouraged them to try it and see. The older twin fell apart. Her grades fell drastically, she cried because of her grades and all the constant encouragement in the world wouldn't make a difference. We struggled through it together and my heart was broken for her. We fought and fought hard for them to be put back together. What a difference! Her confidence was back and her grades were great by the end of 5th grade. Now comes 6th grade, new school, new teachers and the school separates them again. I talked with them about this in depth hoping that the older twin might be ready. So we gave it a try once again. As a parent of a twin, it is hard because you see first hand the bond that they share and you know that they are their own person but you don't want keep them from having their own time or identity. 6th grade was basically a repeat of 3rd. By the end of that year, I decided that I couldn't let this happen to her anymore. As parents we do have power and sometimes it takes us a while to figure it out. Even her standardized test scores for those two years tell the tale in black and white. Next year, they go to high school and just like now, we will get them at least a couple of classes together. It helped me alot to know that I wasn't the only parent of twins that struggled. Even though, I do believe that there are some twins that do need to be apart. Parents know best.

I am a mother of 6 year old twin girls, and my experience has been different. My daughters were together until they turned 4 years old. When they started pre-K I chose to separate them because they had been together for so long and I wanted to see how they would adjust being seperated. It has been working out wonderfully, I realized they are two TOTALLY different people with two TOTALLY different personalities to match. One of the twins are emotional, lovable and shy yet bossy with her sister, the other twin is aggressive, independent, unemotional and more easy going with her sister. They were in the same class briefly (3 months) and they began to get on each others nerves saying, "she was acting funny with her friends today mommy", "she was mean to me today", "I finished before you did", or just plain telling on one another, which became another argument because they would disagree on how the situation took place. Both twins express the fact that they enjoy having different friends, and teachers. I realize that one twin is an excellent reader (needs improvement in math) and the other is wonderful in math (needs improvement in reading), due to their competitive nature had they been in the same class for a prolonged period of time, they would have felt frustrated (too busy paying attention to how the other is doing) because they both have a strong desire to learn and excel. So in short, you have to know your children by studying thier personalities and skill levels, communicate with the teachers, know thier environment to see what fits best, and more importantly realize that every situation (twin) is not the same. My daughters want to be near each other when they get home, or else they get concerned, however they want to "have my own friends". Ask the twins how they feel about being seperated, as a parent I do not believe we give children enough credit for knowing how they feel, this comes with communicating with the children on a consistent bases and explaining different emotions, situations and life experiences. These children are soo smart, even with learning challenges.

I'm a Kindergarten teacher and my sister's are twins. I vote for separating them. My sisters do have a special bond that is unique. However, when they became adults they had a very hard time being independent of each other. One progressed faster than the other. They became very jealous of each other and drifted apart a bit. Now their relationship is great.

It's important for twins to have their own friends throughout their life. They will still share many things being at the same school together but deserve the opportunity to feel like an individual not just a twin.


Good luck.

I've always recommended seperate classroom, because it is important that each child develop their own identity, not just be one of 'the twins'.

I am a kindergarten teacher, and the mother of twins. We kept our twins together until second grade. However, I wish that I had separated them in the beginning. My daughter became dependent on her brother. It was so bad, that when he was absent because of sickness, she would cry all day...sometimes making herself sick. From my classroom experience, it is good for twins to be separated. They really do need to make their own friends and establish their own identities. With all of this said, I think parents should weigh their children's personalites along with the advantages and disadvantages of separating the twins when making the decision.

As a pre-k teacher, i would suggest that you seperate the twins.So that they can establish their own identity. As I was reading some of the responses one person wrote that their twin became ill after second grade because missed her.Twins (to me ) have to establish their own individual personality in order to suceed in life. They will always have a special bond with one another regardlist but, this will help them to be independant.

As a teacher, I had suggested to a parent to separate her twin girls. She was somewhat concerned that they would not do well. They had always done things together and were in many activities together. As we continued our discussion, I suggested to her that even though they had always done things together, she should try the separation for a short time. If she found it was not the best for the girls, to put them back in the same rooms. I told her that each had different interest and would have an opportunity to explore them.
Reluctantly, she did separate them. They were young enough to not enjoy the separation.
The girls (then 41/2) were excited aabout the change that was to take place. After the six months, We met again to review the girls' progress. The mother was very excited. Each girl had grown so much in experiences they were able to share with each other and their family. The mother related that the first month was somewhat difficult, but she wanted to give it ample time . As each girl came home they were so excited ddto share with each other what had taken place in their classrooms. The mother admitted that had not happened before. The twin that was mostly quiet, began to take more and take a leadership role. Her teacher related the changes she had also noticed.
The mother decided to let the girls remain in their separate classrooms. Many years later, I came upon the mother while out shopping. She told me at that time it was the best decision she could have made for the girls at that time. They went off to college,even though it was the same , each had learned to be her own person and still be a sister.