help with this Essay please!

[Cibor]

The Jealous Husband

That’s my last Duchess painted on the wall,
Looking as if she were alive. I call
That piece a wonder, now: Frà Pandolf’s hands
Worked busily a day, and there she stands.
5 Will’t please you sit and look at her? I said
Frà Pandolf” by design, for never read
Strangers like you that pictured countenance,
The depth and passion of its earnest glance,
But to myself they turned (since none puts by
10 The curtain I have drawn for you, but I)
And seemed as they would ask me, if they durst,
How such a glance came there; so, not the first
Are you to turn and ask thus. Sir, ‘twas not
Her husband’s presence only, called that spot
15 Of joy into the Duchess’s cheek: perhaps
Frà Pandolf chanced to say “Her mantle laps
Over my lady’s wrist too much,” or “Paint
Must never hope to reproduce the faint
Half-flush that dies along her throat”: such stuff
20 Was courtesy, she thought, and cause enough
For calling up that spot of joy. She had
A heart—how shall I say?—too soon made glad,
Too easily impressed; she liked whate’er
She looked on, and her looks went everywhere.
25 Sir, ‘twas all one! My favor at her breast,
The dropping of the daylight in the West,
The bough of cherries some officious fool
Broke in the orchard for her, the white mule
She rode with round the terrace—all and each
30 Would draw from her alike the approving speech,
Or blush, at least. She thanked men—good! but thanked
Somehow—I know not how—as if she ranked
My gift of a nine-hundred-years-old name
With anybody’s gift. Who’d stoop to blame
35 This sort of trifling? Even had you skill
In speech—(which I have not)—to make your will
Quite clear to such an one, and say, “Just this
Or that in you disgust me; here you miss,
Or there exceed the mark”—and if she let
40 Herself be lessoned so, nor plainly set
Her wits to yours, forsooth, and made excuse
–E’en then would be some stooping; and I choose
Never to stoop. Oh sir, she smiled, no doubt,
Whene’er I passed her; but who passed without
45 Much the same smile? This grew; I gave commands;
Then all smiles stopped together. There she stands
As if alive. Will’t please you rise? We’ll meet
The company below, then. I repeat,
The Count your master’s known munificence
50 Is ample warrant that no just pretense
Of mine for dowry will be disallowed;
Though his fair daughter’s self, as I avowed
At starting, is my object. Nay, we’ll go
Together down, sir. Notice Neptune, though,
55 Taming a sea horse, thought a rarity,
Which Claus of Innsbruck cast in bronze for me!
(Applebee, 855).

“Robert Browning was raised near London and lived with his parents until he got married at age 34. His real education took place at home where he was tutored in many broad subjects. At 21 years old he published his first poem, “Pauline.” This poem was said to have displayed too much emotion. He promised that all future poems would be free from personal feelings. At this time he started writing plays and dramatic monologs. His plays were not liked and for many years critics thought his poems were too difficult to read. After his wife (Elizabeth Barrett) died, he wrote “The Ring and The Book,” a series of dramatic monologs that made him famous.” (Applebee, 860)
“A narrative poem tells a story” (Applebee, 1342), and a simple narrative is a type of narrative poem that has “a simple outline: The story, the plot, and the storyteller” (uncp.edu). In the poem “My Last Duchess” the end of the lines (wall/call/hands/stands/said/read) show that they rhyme scheme is aa, bb, cc, etc.
Figurative Language is “a type of language that varies from the norms of literal language, in which words mean exactly what they say” (uncp.edu), a simile “There she stands/As if alive” (Lines 46-47) and a metaphor “here you miss, Or there exceed the mark” (Lines 38-39). The simile points out that the Duchess is no longer alive. When the Duke says missing or exceeding the “mark”, it is a metaphor for archery. There are some examples of sound devices such as the alliteration of “Notice and “Neptune” in line 54 and “she smiled” in line 43.
The Duke thinks that the Duchess should be happy with the things he gives her, “My gift of a nine-hundred-years-old name” (line 33), because it’s what he views as important and valuable, but all she really wants is companionship, as shown in lines 25-34 “Sir, ‘twas all one! My favor at her breast, The dropping of the daylight in the West, The bough of cherries some officious fool Broke in the orchard for her, the white mule She rode with round the terrace—all and each Would draw from her alike the approving speech, Or blush, at least. She thanked men—good! but thanked Somehow—I know not how—as if she ranked My gift of a nine-hundred-years-old name With anybody’s gift.”
Browning’s message is that love doesn’t need to be expressed through material things and “nine-hundred-years-old” names, but through actions; paying attention to one another and doing things that the better half likes to do.

My teacher says I need a thesis andmore development (can you help please)

[BigDaddyTeacher]

Well...I'd have to agree with your prof.
First of all, it appears you have a thesis; you've just ended your essay with it instead of having it be in your first paragraph"

Browning’s message is that love doesn’t need to be expressed through material things and “nine-hundred-years-old” names, but through actions; paying attention to one another and doing things that the better half likes to do.

Expand on this idea - Begin the paragraph with a general idea or theme that relates to your theory, and as you continue, begin to narrow the focus towards your main thesis. Do Not include the "nine-hundred-years-old" quote in your first paragraph. This is better used in your concluding paragraph where you sum up your ideas.

Treat this essay in a standard 5-paragraph format -
1) Intro of themes, thesis, and three things you will discuss
2-4) each paragraph needs to focus on one of your three themes - Actions; Paying Attention; Playing With Each Other
5) Summary & Conclusion (good place to use the quote).

It appears you have some examples that fit your three-theme thesis in your current draft. Try to find a few outside examples that boost your theory as well - perhaps a reference to another Browning poem that backs up your claims.

Good Luck - If you want to have your paper reviewed again before you submit it, please send it out again. We'll/I'll try to help.

Dennis

Remember

[maycee_trent]

For me, you just have to make some revision on your essay for it not to look like a thesis. See some tips and guide on writing an essay and follow the right flow of it.