Pregnant Student

[Junction216]

I have a student who is due to have a baby in July. I was thinking about giving her a small gift at the end of the year, but I don't know if I should...

What do you think? And if I should, what would be appropriate?

[Unregistered]

I had a student last year that became pregnant and was due at the end of the year. The teachers debated on giving her a shower and or gift, however we deemed it inappropriate. We decided we did not want to make it a rewardable circumstance, over step our personal bounds, and it would have opened up a whole different can of worms when it came to other students and their personal issues as well.

[Unregistered]

NO, NO, NO, don't do it. Why should you reward this person for wrong decisions? You are sending the wrong message to the other students and to this student, giving positive reinforcement for bad behavior.

[teachingnc]

As a person who had her first child at 19, I take a bit of offense to those who believe that this student would be "rewarded for making a wrong decision" should you give her a gift. Yes, a baby shower may be a bit over the top, but I can guarantee that a small gift or card from you would probably actually make this girl feel a lot better about the situation she is in. Handling pregnancy in high school is certainly not an easy thing to do & staying in high school while pregnant is even harder. She probably has to deal with a lot of gossip, and stares. Most people in her situation probably would have gotten an abortion or dropped out of school. This student, however, wanted to finish school among her peers & who is anyone to judge her for doing so? I certainly don't think it is fair of anyone to condone her for the decision she has made to finish her education and to keep her child. However, if you do decide to give her a gift, be sure she isn't planning to give her child up for adoption. That may lead to some emotional upsets. But I do stand my ground that a small gift would not encourage other students to go out and start families, but it may brighten this girl's day a bit & I'm fairly certain she'll never forget your kindness.

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

I tried posting this earlier, but it was deleted pretty quickly, so I'll word it carefully. I had a 12 y.o. girl get pregnant by her 15 y.o. brother. He was charged with incest and was given 21 days in juvi.

She transferred to the school that has the resources to deal with teen pregnancies (even though she's not technically even a teen)

However, as bad as I feel about this situation, I will not get a present for her, it just sends the wrong message.


BTW - it was consentual.

[Unregistered]

I tried posting this earlier, but it was deleted pretty quickly, so I'll word it carefully. I had a 12 y.o. girl get pregnant by her 15 y.o. brother. He was charged with incest and was given 21 days in juvi.

She transferred to the school that has the resources to deal with teen pregnancies (even though she's not technically even a teen)

However, as bad as I feel about this situation, I will not get a present for her, it just sends the wrong message.


BTW - it was consentual.

12 years old? This would be middle school then? Based on the information you gave it sounds like a completely different situation than described in the original question...

[Unregistered]

my little sister was 15 when she got pregnant for my nephew. she was a lost girl on a very bad path and getting pregnant i believe was gods way of slowing her down. when she found out she was pregnant she became a totally different person. she has now graduated high school(with honors), completed beauty school, and has a career. without the unexpected gift she would never be what she is today. so give her your unexpected gift and if you feel as though it might send the wrong message to others do it in private.

[Miho]

NO, NO, NO, don't do it. Why should you reward this person for wrong decisions? You are sending the wrong message to the other students and to this student, giving positive reinforcement for bad behavior.

Bad behavior? What are you talking about? since when is reproducing bad behavior? I seriously hope that either you are not a teacher or you just worded that wrong. It might be irresponsible to get pregnant as a teenager but i wouldn't call it bad behavior. Many people become teenage moms and despite popular belief many do a really good job. Bad behavior is stabbing another pupil, being unruly, downloading porn onto a school system etc. Becoming pregnant as a teenager might not be ideal, but it is far from "bad behavior"

Also how is giving a pregnant student a gift rewarding her actions? I broke my leg last year playing hockey and when a friend bought me a gift i didn't think,
"ooh a reward, i must break my leg more often!" the gift made me feel better, in the same way that im sure this girl will feel if the original poster buys her a small gift. It is merely a token to uplift her and will help her feel less like the world hates her for making a mistake.

If you buy this girl a small gift, simply give it to her in private. Not that the rest of the girls in the school are going to go stabbing their condoms so they can receive a gift worth a few clams from a teacher. jeez.

[Unregistered]

Your post is an indication as to how far our society has degenerated.

Kids without fathers are handicapped. It is tough enough for kids that have lost their father to illness or accident. But kids of teen moms face another handicap: They have been taught a lesson that does not easily leave them - It is OK to reproduce like wild animals - my mom did it. The parental example speaks louder than any other example. Teen pregnancies lead to more teen pregnancies.

I am not in favor of punishing young girls for their mistakes of this type. We should support them. But, we should never never never say that their actions of sexual irresponsibility were somehow OK behavior.

[Unregistered]

Your post is an indication as to how far our society has degenerated.

Kids without fathers are handicapped. It is tough enough for kids that have lost their father to illness or accident. But kids of teen moms face another handicap: They have been taught a lesson that does not easily leave them - It is OK to reproduce like wild animals - my mom did it. The parental example speaks louder than any other example. Teen pregnancies lead to more teen pregnancies.

I am not in favor of punishing young girls for their mistakes of this type. We should support them. But, we should never never never say that their actions of sexual irresponsibility were somehow OK behavior.




HANDICAPPED?!?!?!? that is outrageous!!!! i grew up WITHOUT a father, to a TEEN mom and i am by no means HANDICAPPED! I also got pregnant my senior year by my high school sweetheart. we are MARRIED and on our way to our THIRD beautiful GIFT! there was no lesson that it was "OK to reproduce like wild animals" as you put it! in fact, i have a sister who was married before she ever had children and a brother graduating high school without having a child. my other sister has decided to wait to have children as well. your BS about "my mom did it" doesnt hold up. my mother gave us a greater value for having a family than anyone ever could have. my children are in no way a product of "sexual irresponsibility" but rather of a loving relationship in which two people desired something more. your comment is worthless!!! you OBVIOUSLY dont know what you are talking about.

as for giving the girl a gift, i had a teacher my junior year that was an amazing woman. she was the best teacher, and favorite to many of her students. she came to the hospital when i gave birth to my daughter and brought a gift. no, she didnt have to do it... but the fact that a woman that i looked up to with great respect went out of her way to put a smile on my face is something that i will never forget. i think that if you give a gift in private it would only benefit the girl. she needs people to show her support when so many others will look at her in disgust and turn their backs. you dont give a gift to "reward behavior" unless its a two year old child. sharing a gift with the girl will only show your kindness.

[Unregistered]

Bad behavior? What are you talking about? since when is reproducing bad behavior? I seriously hope that either you are not a teacher or you just worded that wrong. It might be irresponsible to get pregnant as a teenager but i wouldn't call it bad behavior. Many people become teenage moms and despite popular belief many do a really good job. Bad behavior is stabbing another pupil, being unruly, downloading porn onto a school system etc. Becoming pregnant as a teenager might not be ideal, but it is far from "bad behavior"

Also how is giving a pregnant student a gift rewarding her actions? I broke my leg last year playing hockey and when a friend bought me a gift i didn't think,
"ooh a reward, i must break my leg more often!" the gift made me feel better, in the same way that im sure this girl will feel if the original poster buys her a small gift. It is merely a token to uplift her and will help her feel less like the world hates her for making a mistake.

If you buy this girl a small gift, simply give it to her in private. Not that the rest of the girls in the school are going to go stabbing their condoms so they can receive a gift worth a few clams from a teacher. jeez.




well worded!

[Unregistered]

Read at https://www.fatherhood.org/father_factor.asp
All scientifically researched and documented.

[Unregistered]

Bad behavior? What are you talking about? since when is reproducing bad behavior? I seriously hope that either you are not a teacher or you just worded that wrong. It might be irresponsible to get pregnant as a teenager but i wouldn't call it bad behavior. Many people become teenage moms and despite popular belief many do a really good job. Bad behavior is stabbing another pupil, being unruly, downloading porn onto a school system etc. Becoming pregnant as a teenager might not be ideal, but it is far from "bad behavior"

Also how is giving a pregnant student a gift rewarding her actions? I broke my leg last year playing hockey and when a friend bought me a gift i didn't think,
"ooh a reward, i must break my leg more often!" the gift made me feel better, in the same way that im sure this girl will feel if the original poster buys her a small gift. It is merely a token to uplift her and will help her feel less like the world hates her for making a mistake.

If you buy this girl a small gift, simply give it to her in private. Not that the rest of the girls in the school are going to go stabbing their condoms so they can receive a gift worth a few clams from a teacher. jeez.

Having sex as a teenager is bad behavior! Not being old and wise enough to at least use protection is worse behavior. Becoming pregnant is the consequence of this bad behavior.

[Unregistered]

Bad behavior? What are you talking about? since when is reproducing bad behavior? I seriously hope that either you are not a teacher or you just worded that wrong. It might be irresponsible to get pregnant as a teenager but i wouldn't call it bad behavior. Many people become teenage moms and despite popular belief many do a really good job. Bad behavior is stabbing another pupil, being unruly, downloading porn onto a school system etc. Becoming pregnant as a teenager might not be ideal, but it is far from "bad behavior"

Also how is giving a pregnant student a gift rewarding her actions? I broke my leg last year playing hockey and when a friend bought me a gift i didn't think,
"ooh a reward, i must break my leg more often!" the gift made me feel better, in the same way that im sure this girl will feel if the original poster buys her a small gift. It is merely a token to uplift her and will help her feel less like the world hates her for making a mistake.

If you buy this girl a small gift, simply give it to her in private. Not that the rest of the girls in the school are going to go stabbing their condoms so they can receive a gift worth a few clams from a teacher. jeez.




Are you people seriously considering this crap? shes a young woman in need of some serious friends. Give her a break its not like you were never out having sex in high school. Give her a present tell her congrats and get over it! You have your life and she has hers leave it that way!

[Miho]

Having sex as a teenager is bad behavior! Not being old and wise enough to at least use protection is worse behavior. Becoming pregnant is the consequence of this bad behavior.

Teenagers have sex, its not bad behavior to have sex, its natural, ok maybe 50 years ago it was classed as bad behavior but today attitudes are different. No wonder kids today have such a bad rep if strong natural instincts constitute bad behavior. I'm glad i live we live in a time where teenagers feel that if they fall pregnant they can give it a shot, imo it is far better than in the 50's 60's etc where pregnant teens were just as abundant but were hidden away, shunned and/or made to feel forced into having back street abortions. You assume the girl didn't use contraception but you don't know this. Unless you know the ins and outs you really cant judge this girl. How do you know that she didn't use protection? Its a commonly known fact that A) contraception isn't 100% at the best of times and that B) contraception such as the pill can have its effectiveness drastically reduced by illness such as stomach upsets. Also of course using unsuitable oils as lubricant can weaken condoms. Your judgmental attitude worries me to a degree, but then again i shouldn't be surprised as i have noticed these draconian attitudes seem to still be bubbling under the surface.

It is not ideal for a teenager to get pregnant, of course it isn't they have lives to lead and plenty of time later in life to have children. Having said that when any teenager falls pregnant and decides to continue with the pregnancy i have nothing but respect for them, after all It isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination to bring up a child, let alone if you are still a child yourself.

Again id like to point out that there is a world of difference between making a mistake and bad behavior. Theft is bad behavior, bullying is bad behavior, taking drugs is bad behavior. Falling pregnant and then carrying on with the pregnancy while you are still at school? That is a unfortunate mistake born of a immature thought process or a lack of good judgment (and possible defective contraception) and then living with the consequences. Like i said, world of difference.

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

What we have here is a teenager, who thinks they know all the answers, and who wants to have sex, trying to justify the behavior

Teenagers have sex, its not bad behavior to have sex, its natural, ok maybe 50 years ago it was classed as bad behavior but today attitudes are different. No wonder kids today have such a bad rep if strong natural instincts constitute bad behavior. I'm glad i live we live in a time where teenagers feel that if they fall pregnant they can give it a shot, imo it is far better than in the 50's 60's etc where pregnant teens were just as abundant but were hidden away, shunned and/or made to feel forced into having back street abortions. You assume the girl didn't use contraception but you don't know this. Unless you know the ins and outs you really cant judge this girl. How do you know that she didn't use protection? Its a commonly known fact that A) contraception isn't 100% at the best of times and that B) contraception such as the pill can have its effectiveness drastically reduced by illness such as stomach upsets. Also of course using unsuitable oils as lubricant can weaken condoms. Your judgmental attitude worries me to a degree, but then again i shouldn't be surprised as i have noticed these draconian attitudes seem to still be bubbling under the surface.

It is not ideal for a teenager to get pregnant, of course it isn't they have lives to lead and plenty of time later in life to have children. Having said that when any teenager falls pregnant and decides to continue with the pregnancy i have nothing but respect for them, after all It isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination to bring up a child, let alone if you are still a child yourself.

Again id like to point out that there is a world of difference between making a mistake and bad behavior. Theft is bad behavior, bullying is bad behavior, taking drugs is bad behavior. Falling pregnant and then carrying on with the pregnancy while you are still at school? That is a unfortunate mistake born of a immature thought process or a lack of good judgment (and possible defective contraception) and then living with the consequences. Like i said, world of difference.

When a kid can't control themselves anymore than your run of the mill dog in heat, yes, it's a bad behavior.

I kick my dog when it starts humping my other dog, I don't give him a doggie biscuit and a high five.



Don't worry Miho, you will grow up and realize how stupid this thought process is when you either
1. Knock up a girl or get knocked up yourself depending on you gender
or
2. your 13 y.o. kid comes home and says "I'm preggo" or "I got a girl preggo"

I wonder who pays for that preggo, the 15 y.o. that is still too young to get a full time job, or the mid 30's parent of the knocked up kid?

Teen preggos are bad behavior.

[Unregistered]

What we have here is a teenager, who thinks they know all the answers, and who wants to have sex, trying to justify the behavior



When a kid can't control themselves anymore than your run of the mill dog in heat, yes, it's a bad behavior.

I kick my dog when it starts humping my other dog, I don't give him a doggie biscuit and a high five.



Don't worry Miho, you will grow up and realize how stupid this thought process is when you either
1. Knock up a girl or get knocked up yourself depending on you gender
or
2. your 13 y.o. kid comes home and says "I'm preggo" or "I got a girl preggo"

I wonder who pays for that preggo, the 15 y.o. that is still too young to get a full time job, or the mid 30's parent of the knocked up kid?

Teen preggos are bad behavior.

I will tell you who pays for the teenagers bad behavior with the consequence of pregnancy...the tax payers do. These teens are automatically put on medicaid and given WIC vouchers.

[Unregistered]

Bad behavior? What are you talking about? since when is reproducing bad behavior? I seriously hope that either you are not a teacher or you just worded that wrong. It might be irresponsible to get pregnant as a teenager but i wouldn't call it bad behavior. Many people become teenage moms and despite popular belief many do a really good job. Bad behavior is stabbing another pupil, being unruly, downloading porn onto a school system etc. Becoming pregnant as a teenager might not be ideal, but it is far from "bad behavior"

Also how is giving a pregnant student a gift rewarding her actions? I broke my leg last year playing hockey and when a friend bought me a gift i didn't think,
"ooh a reward, i must break my leg more often!" the gift made me feel better, in the same way that im sure this girl will feel if the original poster buys her a small gift. It is merely a token to uplift her and will help her feel less like the world hates her for making a mistake.

If you buy this girl a small gift, simply give it to her in private. Not that the rest of the girls in the school are going to go stabbing their condoms so they can receive a gift worth a few clams from a teacher. jeez.

Reproducing is bad behavior when it is done by children. Reproducing is bad behavior when it negatively impacts other people. Children reproducing negatively impacts the parents (grandparents). I don't want grandchildren that I have to raise and keep up financially. Reproducing by children negatively impacts the child to be born into this situation. Reproducing by children impacts society on many different levels. It's just plain selfish! Trust me, I would rather my child have the "bad behavior" of being "unruly" than the "bad behavior" of having sex and reproducing.

[Unregistered]

Teenagers have sex, its not bad behavior to have sex, its natural, ok maybe 50 years ago it was classed as bad behavior but today attitudes are different. No wonder kids today have such a bad rep if strong natural instincts constitute bad behavior. I'm glad i live we live in a time where teenagers feel that if they fall pregnant they can give it a shot, imo it is far better than in the 50's 60's etc where pregnant teens were just as abundant but were hidden away, shunned and/or made to feel forced into having back street abortions. You assume the girl didn't use contraception but you don't know this. Unless you know the ins and outs you really cant judge this girl. How do you know that she didn't use protection? Its a commonly known fact that A) contraception isn't 100% at the best of times and that B) contraception such as the pill can have its effectiveness drastically reduced by illness such as stomach upsets. Also of course using unsuitable oils as lubricant can weaken condoms. Your judgmental attitude worries me to a degree, but then again i shouldn't be surprised as i have noticed these draconian attitudes seem to still be bubbling under the surface.

It is not ideal for a teenager to get pregnant, of course it isn't they have lives to lead and plenty of time later in life to have children. Having said that when any teenager falls pregnant and decides to continue with the pregnancy i have nothing but respect for them, after all It isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination to bring up a child, let alone if you are still a child yourself.

Again id like to point out that there is a world of difference between making a mistake and bad behavior. Theft is bad behavior, bullying is bad behavior, taking drugs is bad behavior. Falling pregnant and then carrying on with the pregnancy while you are still at school? That is a unfortunate mistake born of a immature thought process or a lack of good judgment (and possible defective contraception) and then living with the consequences. Like i said, world of difference.

Aaaah! Spoken like a true, h*rney, adolescent.

[Unregistered]

But, the action should not be condoned. Teenagers are going to have sex, period.
If they feel they are responsible enough to do the "adult" thing, then they need to be responsible enough to use condoms or some other form of birth control. Period.

[Unregistered]

Teachers shouldn't be giving students gifts under any circumstance. You should maintain a professional relationship with this student and all students. Leave the gift giving to her peers.

[kks]

Aaaah! Spoken like a true, h*rney, adolescent.

Mmmm, spoken like a true, close-minded, adult.

[Unregistered]

Your post is an indication as to how far our society has degenerated.

Kids without fathers are handicapped. It is tough enough for kids that have lost their father to illness or accident. But kids of teen moms face another handicap: They have been taught a lesson that does not easily leave them - It is OK to reproduce like wild animals - my mom did it. The parental example speaks louder than any other example. Teen pregnancies lead to more teen pregnancies.

I am not in favor of punishing young girls for their mistakes of this type. We should support them. But, we should never never never say that their actions of sexual irresponsibility were somehow OK behavior.

My mother got pregnant with my older sister when she was 15. She stayed in school and raised her baby. Out of her three children, not one of us had children until we were married and in our twenties. My mom told us how difficult it was and how we should wait until we were older and more mature before we had mature relationships. Her life experience and how she conveyed that message to us made a great impact on our relationships as teens. I think that a small gift privately would not encourage this girl to have more children. I am sure that she is not completely thrilled about having a baby so young. This small act may brighten her life and let her know that someone really does care.

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

Mmmm, spoken like a true, close-minded, adult.

well at least we are allowed to have sex :D

[Teacher in Sask]

I grew up in a single parent home. Admittedly, I have my issues. Everyone has their issues. My Mom raised two kids in a loving home with one parent. She went to University, got a degree, a professional designation and a high paying government job. I have a friend who is a single father and who had his child when he was very young. He just passed his exam and is a certified teacher in the state in which he lives.

To say that kids "need" fathers or mothers is incorrect. What is true, is that children need strong role models of both genders. My younger sibling and I had uncles and a very loving grandfather. My friend's child has aunts and a grandmother. My younger sibling and I are both well adjusted, contributing members of society.

That said, I have given students rewards for positive behaviour. I have a student this year that I will give a gift for successfully completing a modified Grade 8 program. She will deserve this gift, because, despite her limitations, she has worked extremely hard and where she was highly behavioural when she first came to us and her behaviour has improved ten fold.

I would say, give her the gift, not because she's having a baby in July, but, because in spite of the obstacle that pregnancy is, she successfully completed the year.

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

so is a teacher supposed to get a gift for every other kid that successfully completed the grade? :confused:

So, just because this girl made a poor choice, she is supposed to be 'rewarded' for doing what is expected?

Sounds like rewarding bad behavior again.

[Teacher in Sask]

so is a teacher supposed to get a gift for every other kid that successfully completed the grade? :confused:

So, just because this girl made a poor choice, she is supposed to be 'rewarded' for doing what is expected?

Sounds like rewarding bad behavior again.

I teach a Grade 8 student who reads at a Grade 3 level. Who recieves no funding and therefore has no TA working with her. We suspect FAS, however, her Mom is not forthcoming about whether or not she drank during the pregnancy, so we have no conclusive proof, nor are we able to get her tested for, well, anything without Mom's approval. Only the standard reading level exams that I have done have given me any indication of what she can do. She would yell and scream at teachers. She would swear and was in the office pretty much all day every day. Mom also shuttles her back and forth from relative to relative when she doesn't want to deal with her. She has a pretty crappy life compared to most of my students.

In the past several months her behaviour has improved significantly. She is working on modified classes and doing most of the work independently. She very rarely yells and screams at teachers and is actually pleasant to deal with most of the time. I personally, choose to reward her improvement - not the negative behaviour.

I teach a modified/adapted Science class. I have a 16 year old student who lives in foster care and has lived in over a dozen different foster homes in her lifetime, not to mention the different relatives she has lived with. In the first four months that I taught her, I think I got 6 assignments out of her. In the last month, I have given her a candy every time she handed something in. I've recieved more assignments in the last month then I did in the previous four. Some kids lack intrensic(sp?? I have 3:30 brain tonight apparently) motivation for many reasons. Extrinsic motivation is your next stop.

I'm not suggesting that every teacher do this, I was merely saying what I do. I love my job and the kids I teach and if it costs me a few hundred dollars a year to buy rewards and treats for the kids, so be it. I can afford it.

As for the girl getting pregnant - kids make mistakes. They are allowed to do that. Part of being a teacher is teaching them to LEARN from those mistakes and not repeat them. The fact that that girl is still in school is a miracle in and of itself when so many pregnant teens drop out. In the other teachers shoes, I would buy her a small gift, because despite her mistake, she made the RIGHT choice by staying in school. I see it as rewarding the POSITIVE decision, not reinforcing the negative one, and that's something that could easily be made with a card or a note or even a discussion along with the gift. That small bit of encouragment from someone she respects may be enough to help this girl finish high school or even choose to go on to higher education, despite having had a child at a young age.

[Unregistered]

I have a student who is due to have a baby in July. I was thinking about giving her a small gift at the end of the year, but I don't know if I should...

What do you think? And if I should, what would be appropriate?

You shoud give her a big blowjob!

[Unregistered]

...I don't think as a teacher that we should even allow other children to think that it's ok to have sex and to make something fun out of something that is going to be hard on this poor girl. I understand the good intentions that you have...and not wanting to make her feel her life is over and so on...but you have to look at the big picture...if it looks to easy...all the girls will be wanting to do it and thinking that it's cool. I think if you want to do anything...it should be something that you do outside of the school and explain to the student that this is a personal gift to her and her baby and that you would like her to keep it a secret between the two of you...but even then...I don't know that I would do so. It's a sad situation and like I said in my title I was 16 and got pregnant and now am 32 and am happy that I have my daughter but as a Mother now...I don't believe in trying to make it seem like it's not a bad decision to have sex...but at the same time...if you make that choice...I think you should deal with the consequences. MIXED EMOTIONS I THINK.

[Teacher in Sask]

...I don't think as a teacher that we should even allow other children to think that it's ok to have sex and to make something fun out of something that is going to be hard on this poor girl. I understand the good intentions that you have...and not wanting to make her feel her life is over and so on...but you have to look at the big picture...if it looks to easy...all the girls will be wanting to do it and thinking that it's cool. I think if you want to do anything...it should be something that you do outside of the school and explain to the student that this is a personal gift to her and her baby and that you would like her to keep it a secret between the two of you...but even then...I don't know that I would do so. It's a sad situation and like I said in my title I was 16 and got pregnant and now am 32 and am happy that I have my daughter but as a Mother now...I don't believe in trying to make it seem like it's not a bad decision to have sex...but at the same time...if you make that choice...I think you should deal with the consequences. MIXED EMOTIONS I THINK.

Why is it REWARDING her for having sex? Why can't the gift be a reward for the POSITIVE decision of staying in school? Like I said before that can be made clear with a card, a note or a discussion about positive decision making to go along with something small and may even change this girl's life.

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

because, the only reason you are rewarding her for staying in school is based on the bad decisions which led to her preggo.

Do you give non-preggo girls gifts for doing what is expected?
then why would you give a preggo one a gift/reward for doing what you expect the non-preggo one to do without reward?

[Teacher in Sask]

Well Chocolate, I think on this, we are going to have to agree to disagree. I reward positive decisions. I try to teach kids to learn from their negative choices in the most positive way possible, because I am still young and idealistic and believe that you catch more bees with honey then with vinager (sp?? I have 3:30 brain again). I reward all my students for attaining goals. I've put on pizza parties, funded largely by myself, usually I ask each student to contribute a toonie, and I front the rest of the bill. I handout prizes and candy on days when classes are particularily well behaved.

I try my best to reinforce positive behaviour, because I believe that kids are more like to repeat positive behaviour when they are rewarded for it, particularily if, for whatever reason, they are not accustomed to behaving properly in the first place.

There are a lot of things kids are "expected" to do in school. A lot of kids however, come from homes where they are no expectations of proper behaviour. They may recieve little or no supervision and then don't behave the way that we "expect" them to.

As someone who works with middle years kids primarily, I have seen how kids CAN change. Middle years kids can still break bad habits with positive support.

As far as sex goes, I think attitudes about sex and sexually active teens, differ greatly between Canada and the United-States. Many schools here offer daycare programs to help teenage Moms turn their lives around and make the positive choice to complete high school. Our sexual education program teaches kids that abstinence is the only 100% for sure method of birth control, but it also teaches about forms of birth control and where they can be obtained, even without your parents knowing.

I know teenagers will make mistakes. I'm less then 8 years removed from being a teenager myself. If any of my students made a mistake and then tried to turn their lives around, I would support them in anyway I could and with any resources available at my disposal. I've given gifts to kids who've gone to rehab, to encourage them to change their behaviour and improve their lives. I even testified as a character witness at the trial of a student (who was also a drug dealer) that I'd known since he was 3. Being the adult who supports them doesn't always work out the way that I'd like, but, at least these kids can look back and say that, whatever else happened, I cared.

Sink or swim - that's the attitude I'm seeing here. Not, she made a mistake and we as adults and teachers need to support her and help her make better decisions in the future. The attitude that she made her bed and now she has to lay in it.

I know that I have people who support me in every positive venture I undertake. I know that I want to support of my administration for the decisions that I make in the classroom, and I would like their help and assistance if and when I having difficulties. I choose to do the same for my students, especially when they went from very negative decisions to much more positive ones.

[Unregistered]

teachers all **************** balls...

[Unregistered]

I say do it. When a teen becomes pregnant its no ones fault but their own, so don't try to blame parents or bad fathers. Giving her a present is not a way of telling her she did a good thing, but that doesn't mean she should get punished either. As a proud and strong teen mom, i would give her a present, it helps to know that you have people that support you no matter what. Teens always need that kind of support from good people.

[Unregistered]

I am training to be a teacher in New Zealand and will be qualified at the end of this year. I think what you say is fantastic! I hope I will be able to be a teacher like you.

I am a teen mum myself - I was 16 when I had my daughter and stayed in school - if I did not have the support of my school and teachers, it would not have been possible! A few teachers gave me small personnal gifts, while one teacher made a collection from my class and they bought me a high chair! In New Zealand you get no government help until you turn 18 (which I think is terrible!).
The fact is every body makes mistakes!
I made a mistake to get pregnant (by the way - using condomns) but I did not make a mistake in keeping my wonderfull daughter. I would not change a thinkg about my life and it is the small acts of kindness from those teachers that I will never forget!
Buy her a small gift - maybe you could tell her about the struggle you had in this decision.
I do not think it is unprofessional - showing that you care is what makes the difference to your students.


Well Chocolate, I think on this, we are going to have to agree to disagree. I reward positive decisions. I try to teach kids to learn from their negative choices in the most positive way possible, because I am still young and idealistic and believe that you catch more bees with honey then with vinager (sp?? I have 3:30 brain again). I reward all my students for attaining goals. I've put on pizza parties, funded largely by myself, usually I ask each student to contribute a toonie, and I front the rest of the bill. I handout prizes and candy on days when classes are particularily well behaved.

I try my best to reinforce positive behaviour, because I believe that kids are more like to repeat positive behaviour when they are rewarded for it, particularily if, for whatever reason, they are not accustomed to behaving properly in the first place.

There are a lot of things kids are "expected" to do in school. A lot of kids however, come from homes where they are no expectations of proper behaviour. They may recieve little or no supervision and then don't behave the way that we "expect" them to.

As someone who works with middle years kids primarily, I have seen how kids CAN change. Middle years kids can still break bad habits with positive support.

As far as sex goes, I think attitudes about sex and sexually active teens, differ greatly between Canada and the United-States. Many schools here offer daycare programs to help teenage Moms turn their lives around and make the positive choice to complete high school. Our sexual education program teaches kids that abstinence is the only 100% for sure method of birth control, but it also teaches about forms of birth control and where they can be obtained, even without your parents knowing.

I know teenagers will make mistakes. I'm less then 8 years removed from being a teenager myself. If any of my students made a mistake and then tried to turn their lives around, I would support them in anyway I could and with any resources available at my disposal. I've given gifts to kids who've gone to rehab, to encourage them to change their behaviour and improve their lives. I even testified as a character witness at the trial of a student (who was also a drug dealer) that I'd known since he was 3. Being the adult who supports them doesn't always work out the way that I'd like, but, at least these kids can look back and say that, whatever else happened, I cared.

Sink or swim - that's the attitude I'm seeing here. Not, she made a mistake and we as adults and teachers need to support her and help her make better decisions in the future. The attitude that she made her bed and now she has to lay in it.

I know that I have people who support me in every positive venture I undertake. I know that I want to support of my administration for the decisions that I make in the classroom, and I would like their help and assistance if and when I having difficulties. I choose to do the same for my students, especially when they went from very negative decisions to much more positive ones.

[Unregistered]

I gave my sophomore student a gift and I do not regret it. I made sure it was a small gift and I also made it a point to encourage her to continue her education. She promised me she would.

[Unregistered]

Give her a box of condoms in hopes that baby number 2 doesn't come along too soon.

[desiree]

I have a student who is due to have a baby in July. I was thinking about giving her a small gift at the end of the year, but I don't know if I should...

What do you think? And if I should, what would be appropriate?

i think it would be nice to get her some thing like a gift card or some baby socks or baby blanket

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

Give her a box of condoms in hopes that baby number 2 doesn't come along too soon.

AGREED:rolleyes:

[Unregistered]

After reading the board isn't more of the question is it professional behavior to buy a student a gift not the morality of the student? My question would you buy a gift for this student for a birthday or graduation even if a small token, then I would do the same for pregnancy. Although you may not want to encourage pregnancy part of our job as teachers is to be a role model of appropriate, professional behavior. I think that only you can decide since you know your relationship with the student, every student is different...