any advice welcome

[devon104]

My son is 6 years old. He is very active boy with lots of energy. I was worried this year about kindergarden since he is not likely to sit still nor try to learn(at least for me). Because of his birthday he was almost 6 when school started. He is fine as in listening to his teacher and he tries very hard for her but is still behind. They say it is up to me whether to pass him into first grade or not. The principal wants him passed because of his size(4'6). If I let them pass him I am worried about how much I can get him to learn over the summer to try and catch him up. And how to actually get him to learn it. Teaching him is nothing like my oldest were. I know kids are different but I need ideas and help on how to help him learn. Especially letter recognition and writing. He really wants to go to first grade and I am worried that if I hold him back it will make him almost 20 when he graduates. I want to do what is best for him and not quite sure what to do. Thanks in advance for any ideas or advice.

[njan]

Hi,

You might want to find out who will be your son's first grade teacher (if he moves on) and talk to the teacher about how your son is and how will the class progress. I decided to give my daughter one more year to mature for a couple of reasons. One being that I find out in the first grade they progress very fast, kids are required to have full attention in the class in order to succeed.

Nancy

[Unregistered]

He is not the youngest, he may be the tallest in the class. This one would be hard to hold back. I posted before to a different post- boy youngest- yes, smallest? in class and struggling.

I taught kindergarten for years and had to help parents make these kinds of decisions. Think about Jr. high, it is a ways off, but try to think. Older than, tall good things, but is much older than, much taller than?

You did express that you were concerned with his activity level and him being still enough to learn. Perhaps this is what he needs to learn first, then be concerned about school subjects.

Do you sit down with him and read to him? maybe sit and play a non rowdy game? Does he otherwise get lots of exersice? Perhaps to schedule these types of activities throughout the summer would help him be ready to stay focused and learn in first grade. Then if he does not think of holding him back in first. Give him another year to learn how to be still and learn. In order for many boys to learn they must have the time and opportunity to run the wiggles out and then be required, encouraged and such to be still and learn or listen. See if he can for 5 minutes, 10 minutes and more. Work up to at less 15 minutes of a given activity. Read books to him, his choice from the library. Something structured, more so as the summer progresses. Then when school begins meet with the teacher for ideas which may help. Giving him plenty of time before and after school for things he enjoys. And still keep reading to him, this will show him that reading has a purpose, can be really fun, and you can read things that interest you. This may motivate him to calm down and learn so he too can read! Show him that reading is fun by reading books/and such that are of interest to you while he looks at or reads books of interest to him.


Learning is fun make it so. Give him reasons to want to learn.

[COOKIE]

Ladies And Gentlemen, You May Think You Are Doing Your Child Some Good By Holding Him Back, But Believe Me It Is The Worse Thing That You Can To Do A Child. When I Was 7 Yrs. Old I Came To The Us And Did Not Know A Word Of English. My Mom Held Me Back Thinking I Would Have Dificulty Learning. Well Within 3 Months I Was Fluent But I Hated School Because I Was Always Older And Taller Than All My School Mates. I Always Wanted To Hang Out With The Kids A Grade Above Me Which Were My Age But Kids Always Look Down At The Lower Grade Kids. Parents Leave Your Kids Alone...they'll Catch Up. We Adults Think Kids Learn At The Pace Adults Learn And That Is Not True At All. Don't You Remember When You Were A Kid? Don't Turn What Could Be Wonderful Experience For Your Child Into Something Miserable. Like It Was For Me. (always Uncomfortable During My Scool Years)
Your Child Is In Elementary School, Not Medical School For Heaven's Sake.

[empathizer]

The difference between first and K is very substantial. I would wait a year, especially since he is already older and big for his age. You may want to hire a tutor for the summer. I find it very tough to work academically with my son because we are to emotionally involved with each other. The schedule would provide structure as well, and even a high school student could work with a Summer Bridge program with him, doesn't have to cost a bundle. Retention may not be the answer for you. What is the school doing to catch him up? Is there summer school? Does he qualify for special services? If you can you should get them to do everything possible to help him succeed. Take him to a developmental pediatrician and get recommendations. Good luck and I really do feel your pain, it is just so hard to know what's best for them.

[Unregistered]

Please check out your rights in your school system. If the school is reccommending you keep him back they need to give you a reason. If they are suggesting he is behind they are responsible for providing testing to see if he has a delay in any area. You do not have to pay for any special testing by a pediatrician. If he does have delays it is the schools responsibility to provide what help he needs. You should have him examined by his pediatrician to rule out any physical or medical problems like hearing or eye problems. Sometimes those problems can be displayed as behavior difficulties. Good Luck.

[Unregistered]

I can relate to your problem. I have a daughter who I sent to Young 5's because I didn't feel she was ready for kindergarten. She was 6 when she entered. In kindergarten and in 1st grade she continued to lag behind. She was tested in 1st grade and it was discovered she has learning disabilities. Thankfully she was able to get the additional help she needed and she is graduating from high school in a month (age 19). My point to this story is that you must ask yourself this question..."If I hold my son back a year will something change in that time that will make him more ready for 1st grade?" It may be possible that nothing at all will change and it will only delay the interventions he may need to be successful in school. I hope this helps!