boyfriends & girlfriends

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????

[jedimaster]

I don't think so. Plenty of time in junior high to start that kind of thing.

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????


WHO IS ASKING THIS A PARENT OR A CHILD?

IF IT IS A PARENT ASKING THIS YOU NEED TO SEE YOUR CHILDS SCHOOL COUNSELOR.

IF YOU ARE A CHILD ASKING THIS I DON'T THINK YOU ARE GOING TO GET MUCH HELP HERE. NOT THAT WE DON'T CARE, BUT YOU ARE STILL JUST A CHILD. ENJOY YOUR TIME AS A KID NOW BECAUSE IT WON'T BE LIKE THIS FOREVER. DO WHAT CHILDREN DO BEST, PLAY, HAVE FUN AND LAUGH A LOT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS???

THERE ARE ALWAYS MORE FISH IN THE SEA?

[Unregistered]

I think once a child turs at least 13 or 14 they can have a bf. If younger I dont think they really need to have one. It's the parents opinion though.

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????

absolutely not, they are way too young for that.

[Unregistered]

i think that yr5 is a great time for kids to have a boyfriend/ girlfriend. i have 5 kids - 15yo boy twins, 14yo boy, 12yo girl + 11yo boy.
My eldest boys had their first girlfriends at 9, and by 10 they had pashed many girls. now, at 15, are very experienced. my next son had his first girlfriend around the same age and continues going very far with girls now. my daughter had her first boyfriend at around age 10 and has a very close boyfriend now. my youngest son has his first girlfriend at the moment, and pashed her for the first time on her birthday 2 weeks ago.
they are happy with my decisions in letting them do as mmuch as they think is sensible and i trust them.
i think you should let your child have a boyfriend/ girlfriend if he/she wants to.

[Unregistered]

As a mom of three girls, ages 17, 14 and 9, and a substitute teacher in a fairly large elementary school (900+ students), I say no to "dating" before high school. I know they're going to do it anyway, and in some ways it's not that harmful. Most of the time, the kids just say they're going out, and often they barely even talk to each other. But I've seen it cause too many jealousies, heartaches and distractions to be worth it. My 17-year-old has been to hell and back numerous times because of other girls believing that Jenny should not go out with their ex-bf. If everything went according to their beliefs, no boy would ever be able to go out with another girl after he broke up with his first girlfriend. That would take just about every guy off the market real quick! Jenny has been beaten up, spit on and had false rumors spread about her because of these crazy ideas.

On the other hand, back when my 9-year-old was in kindergarten, she came home from her first day of school saying she had a boyfriend. Did it do any harm? Not really. She has one now, a cute kid who comes knocking at the door and politely asking, "Is Patricia home?" They jump on the neighbor's trampoline together and ride their bikes around the block, and that's it. Not a worrisome relationship. That said, I'd still rather they just say they're friends and leave it at that. I'm not going to make them break up, because I suspect that they would continue and just not tell me about it. But I do talk to my kids all the time about these little relationships and why they shouldn't make a big deal over them, that they're too young to get too serious, etc. It seems to be working.

Chris

[xoashleyxo124]

does anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend??

i do think that kids in 4th and 5th graders should be boyfriend and girlfriend because everyday when i walk into my classroom there always kids makingout or flirting and everything else.Then after school we go downtown and have a bite to eat with eachother i also hope then when little kids reach 4th and 5th grade they will do the same,.
i hope you listen to this........
if you have a qute say it thanx
buhbyez

[newbie]

Okay,

I don't usually respond to these sorts of things, but my nose is wrinkled and my brow is furrowed at the thought of thinking that a 5/6 grader should have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I agree with the person who said that the boyfriend girlfriend thing is too distracting. I would suggest getting the "should" out of dating for kids because it can become heterosexist.

Many boys and girls don't want to be involved with the opposite sex, and to say that boys and girls should have bf and gf reinforces the idea that boys should be with girls and girls should be with boys. There are a few schools around that are open and progressive enough to ebrace all types of caring between boys and girls, but when "dating" comes into the picture, the pressure to conform to what peers expect gets in the way of learning. I know, I see it in my classroom.

[Jeri]

umm.... i'm 14 and never had a bf

is this bad/retarded?


Close to 40% of all students go through their grade K-12 education without having a relationship of any kind. I'm working to be a guidance counselor and that a stats from a National Agency.

[docnpat]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????
When I taught 5th and 6th grades, I told my students that they were NOT ALLOWED to have boyfriends and girlfriends in our class! That it was fine for them to have boyfriends and girlfriends while with their parents, because their parents were the ones to guide them in this social aspect. The students BELIEVED me. It seemed to make it easier for the students if someone asked them to "be my boyfriend" (or girlfriend). The pressure was taken off the students -- they didn't have to hurt anyone's feelings if they didn't like the other person. They just answered, "I can't. The teacher doesn't allow it!" I can't tell you how much easier it made recess duty and teaching! If the students did have boyfriends and girlfriends, they kept it very low-key because they didn't want the teacher to find out! Was this a bad approach?

[Unregistered]

I pray that this is a child asking the question. What on earth does a 5th grader need with a boy-friend or a girl-friend. Sure human developement causes us to begin attracting and being attracted to the opposite sex, but it doesn't mean that fifth graders are ready for the responsibility that comes along with having boy-friend and girl-friend relationships. I work in a middle school where some of the parents think it is perfectly natural for their children to begin the dating at a young age, and we also have 12,13, 14, and 15 year old students giving birth before they leave middle school. If this is a parent asking this question, I have a question for you. Are you ready to be raising your child's child? Are you ready to pay for the medical bills, food, diapers, clothing, and care of your child's child? You may want to attend parenting classes along with your fifth grader. You may also want to research the statisics on children having children. How early they begin to have boy-friends and girl-friends relationships.

[Unregistered]

Children that age are too young to be dating. My daughter is a Freshman in college, and she didn't have a boyfriend until the 10th grade! She is a very sucessful young lady, and she thanks me to this day.

[Unregistered]

I would say no! take it from somebody who is going into the sixth grade!

[Unregistered]

I find nothing wrong with it as long as no one is doing anything like horrid.

[Unregistered]

Hey all, I think there are much bigger issues whith kids than dating, I yes it's an important issue but now a days kids are doing things much worse and even if there parents think they know they don't. i graduated from high school a year and a half ago in a quiet town in pittsburgh and every one there did pot, x, and consumed large amounts of alcohol. Why arn't parents talking about that? sure for some kids it's a fase but what about the ones whose lives are ruined because of the "drugs are cool" mentality these kids have? does anyone really think that it's enough to tell them to "just say no". it's not enough and most kids who have sex do it under the influence of one substance or another. i really think the 11th graders need more attention than the 5th graders.

[helper]

lisen i thank its the way the child acts aposed to the way they do thangs maturity is a big part of dating...and by grade 5 most children are not mature enough to be dating..

[Lisa's Hotscakes]

If it is a kid asking the question he should ask his PARENTS who, if they have any common sense, will say no.

[nikki2006]

Hi my name is nikki and i am 17 and in the 11th grade now. I think that by 5th grade you should have a bf/gf. I didnt have a boyfriend until I was in the 10th grade and now I am ingaged. I love my fiance very much, he takes care of me and he is there when I need him. :)

[Ms.L]

I think when your 14-16 you can start dating. I think 5th grade may be too young. Does anyone agree?? :confused:

[Unregistered]

I think once a child turs at least 13 or 14 they can have a bf. If younger I dont think they really need to have one. It's the parents opinion though.

well i think that ur wrong. im a now going into 7th grader person thingy, and just got through a 6th grade relationship. now we are over. i think its fine, just let ur daughter or son go out, if u kinda know the person. and if you feel more comfortable than just meet his/her parents. its perfectly fine. its not like they're gonna do anything...
megan

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????

IN my opinion i think the 5th grader should wait until at least 6th or 7th grade. During the time from 5th to 6 or 7th they should learn more of what the right and wrong things to do in a relationship are for the age groups that they are dealing with i think they should know as much and learn as much as they can bout relationships so that when it does come time to date it goes well. I started dating to early when i was younger and never really learned what was ok and not ok in a relationship at that time for my age group it was not until later that i had learned i had at that time ended up having sex with my first real boyfriend. So to help prevent adolecents from making the mistakes that i made it is best that you do this. You have plenty of time to do stuff with or have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Now is not the time besides boyfriends and girlfriends only give you trouble at that age.

[Unregistered]

In short...no. And to the person who likes using capital letters. Stop it, it's condescending. If this is a kid who is asking this question, then he/she thinks it is a valid question. Just give them a simple answer.

Go watch some Dr.Phil :D


I totally agree...
Please do not correct a child who is asking you an honest question seeking a valid, truthful answer, you will only crush their spirit and hurt their pride and they may end up seeking answers on their own, possibly leading themselves into trouble and rushing into something they are not ready for way too soon. Just give honest, simple answers, possibly give them resources they can use to seek the answers they need if you are not able to provide them!

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????
yes i do think kids should have a boyfriend by 5th grade and im in 6th grade !!

[Concerned Mom]

I am a mother of four: 2 girls (ages 12, 8) and 2 boys (ages 9, 3). My oldest daughter is finding that she has little boys that she likes, but what do children at that age have to talk about that can't be addressed in school? I am reading some of these posts from children and as a parent, I think that the emphasis should be on education, not whether or not a child can have a boyfriend. Some of the children (and adults) can't even spell correctly, so why is having a bf/gf such an issue? I wanted legitimate advice and all I am seeing is a lot of gibberish. I had my first child at 16 because my mother didn't let me do ANYTHING. I think that if we, as parents, are open and can sit down and talk to our children, they will understand that school is about receiving the proper education that will guide them when they are adults.

Children can be mean in school (making you feel like you are missing out or not cool) and I think that once my daughter is entering high school she can date, and I am sure she will have a boyfriend before that, but she understands my views and as long as the lines of communication are open, then problems will be fewer (not obsolete). I am sure there are other parents that agree with me, but at some point we have to be adults and guide our children.

P.S. And to the weirdo that thinks that "pashing" between adolescents is okay, you will indeed encounter problems in the future. Who has a child that is sleeping around by the age of 10? That is insane. What do children that age know about sex and the dangers of STDs or pregnancy? Nothing and if we allow that kind of behavior in our children we are condemning them to a hard life.

[Unregistered]

Being a fifth grade teacher I don't think that kids at this age should be worried about boyfriends and girlfriends. They have enough to think about with ya know..the important things in life, like getting an education. Kids at this age don;t understand what having a relationship means and if they do than they are way too young to know. They have the rest of their lives to meet people, why not just have a lot of friends and worry about boyfriends or girlfriends when they are at a more mature age.

[Unregistered]

I think all kids young or not should be entitled to their own opinion about bf/gf, so my opinion is that no matter what age you are you can go out with someone and be in a serious relationship. I went out with boys in year 1 & 2 but they were nothing serious, because young kids that age don't know to much about that sort of thing anyway. I'm now in year 9 and I i'm in a relationship now, but just because we flirt it doesn't mean were going to get up to anything else, because were still to young. What do you think?

[Unregistered]

i think that haveing a bf/gf in 5th grade is not that bad....but maybe it would be better if they started dateing from around 14-15-16...i mean..in 5th grade u are like...11 or somethin` like that....ur still a kid...but i`ve seen it happen and sometimes it`s not that bad...

[Unregistered]

i think that yr5 is a great time for kids to have a boyfriend/ girlfriend. i have 5 kids - 15yo boy twins, 14yo boy, 12yo girl + 11yo boy.
My eldest boys had their first girlfriends at 9, and by 10 they had pashed many girls. now, at 15, are very experienced. my next son had his first girlfriend around the same age and continues going very far with girls now. my daughter had her first boyfriend at around age 10 and has a very close boyfriend now. my youngest son has his first girlfriend at the moment, and pashed her for the first time on her birthday 2 weeks ago.
they are happy with my decisions in letting them do as mmuch as they think is sensible and i trust them.
i think you should let your child have a boyfriend/ girlfriend if he/she wants to.

Are you serious? I may be a bit late on this thread, but I just had to ask. I have 5 children as well...13-girl, 12-boy, 9-boy, 7-girl, 3-girl...They all know that there is no dating until they're ready to find a husband or wife. Now you all can laugh at me and say it won't work, but I don't really care. We're starting homeschooling in part because of the rampant sexuality going on in the public schools. I think it would be ridiculous for my 13 or 12 year old to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. It wouldn't even be an issue for the younger ones. When my 13 year old was 9, she came to me and said she had a boyfriend. I just looked her squarely in the eye and told her she did not. They played together at each others houses, with the parents supervising, but that's as far as it went.

[Unregistered]

Now you all can laugh at me and say it won't work, but I don't really care.

Actually, it does work. In fact, a lot of cultures enforce this rule and manage to make it stick. Unfortunately, peer pressure to screw around doesn't just come from fellow kids.

[Unregistered]

part of growing up and learning is having b/f and g/f to some kids it will feel like the end of the world if they're friends are "dating" before them most kids only feel like they need a b/f g/f if theyre friends have them and kids will tell they're friends that they have gone to that next step, even if they havent to seem like they're keeping up. I had a boyfriends in 4th 5th 6th and 7th grade but none of them meant anything except that I could be superior during lunch time. My mother often tells us (my siblings and I) that you have to date people you dont like to find the one thats right for you. and as to the sex thing if your worried about your child sleeping around they probably know more than they let on most children learn everything about sex by sixth grade whether its right or not depends on you, sex talks are always akward but always neccessary, the only reason I waited was because my mom talked to me about the dangers and condoms and everything like that children should go to school for an education but also school is a place to grow socially.

[senior in high school]

to the unregistered "pasher" 5th and 6th grade is way to young for a sexually active relationship, that should begin happening possibly into high school, no time before 17 or 18.

However to the woman who has five children that aren't allowed to date until they're ready to be married that is also wrong I have a cousin who's parents told her she couldnt date until she was 18 so she snuck out in the middle of the night to meet up with guys got grounded for seeing boys her parents didn't care for much, started smoking , and her parents still aren't the wiser to most of it

To me its neccessary to give your children some freedom but still give them boundries, thats what they really need, adolecents are similiar to pets in that they will see how far you will let them go, they will rebel if the boundry is too tight and they will run as far as they can and behave horribly for attention if you are too lax

YOU ARE THE PARENT SO GROW UP AND START PARENTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Unregistered]

You Are The Parent So Grow Up And Start Parenting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/quote]

[Unregistered]

yes i think it is fine 4 some one in 5th grade 2 have a bf or gf because look my lil sis is in the 5th grade and is 10 she had her first boy friend last year but se im in 8th grade now she saw me inviting my friends over mostly 4 parties i got in 2 alot of trouble i would bring home boys and dance and have fun because my mom was never really a mom actualy she was never around so i rased my lil sis but as son as i started making out was a big problem se was making out because she was folowing my example so i gess what im trying 2 say is its okay but dont let it get out of hand be carfull if ur a child an if ur a parint then just watch closley thanxs

[Unregistered]

I really dont think having a bf/gf is so bad because if you think about it thats just getting them prepared for the real world. I had my first gf at 4th grade and my first kiss in 5th it felt good having someone to protect,and love I think you should put your kids first and let them choose.

[Unregistered]

lisen i thank its the way the child acts aposed to the way they do thangs maturity is a big part of dating...and by grade 5 most children are not mature enough to be dating..
I think you're right.5th grade kids are mature and show self discepline.Sometimes they are better than 10th graders depending on if they're spoiled or not. Most of the time, kids that are spoiled are most likely to have a boyfriend/girlfriend

[jsh2y]

Since when did 10 year-olds take on the responsibility and lifestyles of adults? I've been teaching the 5th grade for a while now and am absolutely convinced that children of that age are not mentally and emotionally prepared to sustain each other as boyfriends and girlfriends. I do believe that playdates and activities together are both healthy and necessary, but I don't think that we should expect or encourage them to form relationships they are incapable of understanding. Let kids be kids while they can - childhood is such a short experience. Why shove them into adulthood or teenager-dom before their time? Let them progress into that circumstance naturally and happily, as they wish, and in their own time.

[Unregistered]

Myself being in 5th grade i do think that kids should have a bf or gf aslong as they dont go to far its harmeless. during school bfs and gfs rarely talk exept if there in the same homeroom and sometimes they talk on the phone im each other ect. ithink having a bf or gf is harmless!
i think that kids should have freedom and boundries because if you dont give your child freedom to have a bf or gf in 5th or 6th grade there more likly to do worse things when they get older just make sure they have a chaperone and give them the freedom (and boundries) they deserve

[Unregistered]

I am now 22, and am researching how 5th/6th graders act nowadays for an improv class where we have to pretend to be 10 or 11. When I look back at my time in 5th grade, I do remember me having my first girlfriend. The fact is, the most it ever got to was holding hands. It was considered brave with most 5th graders but for a select few it was the start of something new and fun. I didn't kiss a girl till Jr. High but still I think those relationships should be innocent too. If kids want to have relations with those of the opposite sex, I think it's good to start somewhat early. I have friends who didnt have a girlfriend till the end of college and they really do not understand women very well. If kids keep waiting, it gets harder and harder to interact with the opposite sex. I have a friend who has the hardest time just talking to girls and I wish he could have gotten more time when he was younger to interact with them. So if its innocent when young, then great. If parents are letting their kids have so much privacy with the oppostie sex, thats when the bad things happen like teen pregnancy. One last thing, if a kid wants to do something they will find a way to do it. It's called rebellion and we've all done it once in our lives.

[Liza]

I am a parent of a nine year old girl and i think that they need to focus in there studies not in no boys.

[Unregistered]

Some of the people that are here replying to this question are crazy. I'm only a fourteen year old girl, and I've never had a boyfriend. Sure, I've liked some boys. Anyway, I think a lot of the children's minds today, in elementary, are being corrupted by "girlfriends" and "boyfriends." I honestly think this. Doesn't anyone remember when we all thought girls had 'cooties' or that boys had 'cooties,' and we would all be grossed out by one another? Fifth grade is such an early age to start dating. I find it to be the stupidest thing any parent would let their child do.

One person mentioned that a boy would come over to her house asking if her daughter could come out and play. That is completely fine, and I see nothing wrong with that. But dating? I don't know what to think! That's crazy!

I don't understand, and all the "kids" (even though I'm one) replying to this topic saying that it is OKAY for kids to date during their 5th grade year... YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, because that is very disturbing! Who wants to see 5th graders going around "making out" or holding hands. Nobody wants to see that! I don't understand you people.

And yes, as another person has mentioned, there are bigger and much more important things to be worrying about in today's world. Kids have been interacting with drugs, and that's not a nice thing to know. Kids put their lives on the line, and nobody is there to tell them. SAYING NO isn't enough. People coming to schools telling them to SAY NO isn't enough!! Kids aren't getting enough motivation. Kids don't receive well blanced educations to keep themselves occupied. Parents don't get involved- PARENTS DON'T GET INVOLVED!

Keep your kids busy; it will help.
I could go on, but I don't have time.

Thanks,
Vanessa

P.S. All you people thinking that fifth grade is an 'OKAY,' you disgust me. -- Oh and also, I'm sure some people are surprised that I am only 14.

[Unregistered]

First of all, in 4th and 5th grade "having a bf/gf" and "dating" are two totally different things. Second- I don't think its right to say that someone should be in a relationship whether they are 10 or 20! I think that people mature at different rates and if a child thinks they are mature enough to be in a relationship they should talk to their parents, or a adualt that they trust and talk about what that means and if they are ready. If you forbid it then your making it the forbiden fruit and kids are just going to go behind your back and then you'll really have trouble. The concept 'out of sight, out of mind' is a horribal idea when you are dealing with kids.
To tell the truth I didn't have my first boyfriend till 9th grade, then I didn't have one till I was in college and right now I'm unattached, and perfectly happy. The last thing we want is a bunch of girls who think that if they don't have a boy then they aren't worth anything. Ok, so let me wrap this up.
I would say no, a 4th or 5th grader do not NEED to have a relationship. If they think they are ready then talk to your parents about what that means, and don't let anyone push you past what your ready to do! P.S to the woman who was saying that her children pash what does that mean, and what base is it? I'm really afraid but I want to know.

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????



WAY to YOUNG! Kids need to enjoy being kids without that kind of commitment or stress. I teach 4th grade and 5th-6th. The kids play together and there are definitely crushes, but it is all so innocent and sweet. Why push them to be attached to someone when they can play with everyone= what would they do? make out? What is the message you are sending as a teacher to these kids, if we make them feel differentand uncomfortable for not having a b/g friend!

[Unregistered]

Some of the people that are here replying to this question are crazy. I'm only a fourteen year old girl, and I've never had a boyfriend. Sure, I've liked some boys. Anyway, I think a lot of the children's minds today, in elementary, are being corrupted by "girlfriends" and "boyfriends." I honestly think this. Doesn't anyone remember when we all thought girls had 'cooties' or that boys had 'cooties,' and we would all be grossed out by one another? Fifth grade is such an early age to start dating. I find it to be the stupidest thing any parent would let their child do.

One person mentioned that a boy would come over to her house asking if her daughter could come out and play. That is completely fine, and I see nothing wrong with that. But dating? I don't know what to think! That's crazy!

I don't understand, and all the "kids" (even though I'm one) replying to this topic saying that it is OKAY for kids to date during their 5th grade year... YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, because that is very disturbing! Who wants to see 5th graders going around "making out" or holding hands. Nobody wants to see that! I don't understand you people.

And yes, as another person has mentioned, there are bigger and much more important things to be worrying about in today's world. Kids have been interacting with drugs, and that's not a nice thing to know. Kids put their lives on the line, and nobody is there to tell them. SAYING NO isn't enough. People coming to schools telling them to SAY NO isn't enough!! Kids aren't getting enough motivation. Kids don't receive well blanced educations to keep themselves occupied. Parents don't get involved- PARENTS DON'T GET INVOLVED!

Keep your kids busy; it will help.
I could go on, but I don't have time.

Thanks,
Vanessa

P.S. All you people thinking that fifth grade is an 'OKAY,' you disgust me. -- Oh and also, I'm sure some people are surprised that I am only 14.

Bravo! It's so nice to see a teenager saying this and not just parents and teachers.

I am 31 and I have a nine year old girl and a ten month old girl. I had my first two boyfriends when I was 15 and it was the STUPIDEST thing I could have done. The first one cheated on me with another girl because I wouldn't have sex with him and then became abusive to me. The second one was mentally abusive and very controlling. At that age I did NOT have the skills to deal with what was happening. After that, I understood why my mom didn't weant me dating until at least 16.

My mom started dating even younger (probably around 13) and gave birth to me when she was 15. Growing up as a child of a teenage mom, I did not have a lot of the advantages my kids do. My kids don't have to raise themselves or worry about only being accepted and loved when it's convenient like I did.

My nine year old sometimes acts like she thinks she's 16 and I remind her all the time she's just a kid and needs to focus on her education, family, making friends and her religious beliefs. I also remind her no dating before age 16, which thankfully won't be til her junior year of highschool, and when she brings up that her friends have boyfriends and girlfriends already I tell her that's her friends not her. And if her friends' parents are going to allow it then that's up to them, but it's WRONG because young kids don't have the maturity to handle those kinds of relationships. I do tell her that it's okay for her to have boys who are friends and girls who are friends, but no boyfriends she'd kiss on. It gets the message across and she even tells her friends that they're too young to be dating.

Vanessa, thank you so much for your post and keep your eye on the prize of your education and you'll go far in the world.

Thanks,
T.W.

[Unregistered]

WOW! Children dating! 10 and 11 year olds are children who need to be doing kid things and dating and having personal intrest in one another isn't one of them. I have seen 6th grade girls pregnant. There is no way this child is mature enough to raise a baby.
We all need to push for the saying "It's Great To Wait!"

[Unregistered]

T.W., I am very appreciative of your encouragement!

Thanks again,
Vanessa

[Unregistered]

I really like this guy and have for about three years now. I want to go out with him, but I am worried that 13 (almost 14) is too young to have a boyfriend. I don't know what my parents think, because I haven't been able to talk to them about this. My parents would probably respect my decision because they have always considered me mature for my age, but I think they would be disappointed. I know I should probably wait, but I am having an extreemly hard time. For me, a boyfriend or even just dancing with a guy would be a very big step, because I am always really cautious about stuff, take a long time to make decisions, and chose very carefully. I am not one of those people who is just does stuff (like have a boyfriend) casually or because of peer presure. I never do anything, like dress a certain way or take part in certain activities because of what other people are doing. Am I too young? How can I make myself wait? What should I do?

[Unregistered]

My opinion is that you should not have a relationship with another person (at any age) untill you are able to handle or facilitate the responsibilities that go together with it. For instance, how can you have a boyfriend or girlfriend if you have to depend on some one else to transport you to them, or depend on some one else's finances to fund the date? For most people, age 16 is a better age to ease into relationships. That way you are old enough to have a job or maybe even drive a car. Having "crushes" prior to age 16 may not be avoidable but encouraging them should be avoided.

[shannonshannon]

holy crap, this issue makes me sick. there is no way 4th or 5th graders should be having boyfriends or girlfriends! that is just WAY WAY WAY too young!
i'm hoping that this question is a joke, or posed by a child, because no sensible adult should even have to think twice on this.
age 10 and 11 is far too young to become romantically involved with someone. hell, teenagers up to age 18-19 still don't have their brain's fully developed! it's not until after this age that the prefrontal lobe, which is responsible for JUDGEMENT and RATIONAL THINKING, finishes developing. if it takes until near adulthood to develop, can you imagine what a CHILD'S brain would be like?

no wonder you hear about 12 and 13 year old girls getting pregant. chances are, these young pregnant girls are the same girls whose bloody insane parents allow their 5th and 6th graders to date!
the earlier a child loses their virginity (and the earlier they start dating, the earlier they will lose it) the less likely they are to be successful in school and careers, and in life in general!
in fact, although i forget the exact percentage, for every year a child is not involved in sexual activities, up until about age 21, it increases their chances at a successful and healthy life.

don't give me bullcrap about dating in grade 5 and 6 furthering the growth of the child's "socialization process". you want 10 and 11 year olds to be better socialized? involve YOURSELF in their lives, and involve THEM in structured programs that will make them feel better about themselves, while at the same time exposing them to different children and frontiers. like say, sports, dance, art classes. SOMETHING FOR CHILDREN. because that's what they are at this age.

god!

[(the above poster)]

in addition to the above, i feel like i should point out that i am a 21 year old lady, who didn't have her first boyfriend until i was nearly 18.
i could not be happier with my decision to not date until i was this age, because there are far too many more important things to be worrying about (and things that young kids <i>shouldn't</i> have to worry about; sex, abusive relationships, etc).

if there comes a day that i am ever a mother, despite my child's gender, there will be NO DATING for them until they are a) 16-17, b) have proven themselves emotionally mature and responsible.

the most important thing to a child shouldn't be having to worry about their romantic partner, but instead, THEIR EDUCATION. relationships should be saved for late teens, in my opinion, but should definitely NOT even be an issue for pre teens.

[Unregistered]

no because some kids are too young and need to think about their school work instred of huging or kissing plus you should a least wait to 6 grade

[Unregistered]

Have you lost your marbles?There are so many things that children have to learn at this age,why futher complicate things.As a father of two and grandfather of two, I say ,wait till the time is right.
Eastern Canadian Grandfather

[Unregistered]

I guess I think that it's Ok for kids to have a gf/bf if they want to at whatevere age they feel they are ready. I do, however, think that it is very important for kids to do well in their studies, so if having a bf/gf is interfearing with their perforamnce in school, then bfs/gfs become a no-no.

But I know (being a kid myself-Im going into 9th grade) that it can be really hard to be the only person in your group of friends without a bf/gf, so I think it is very unfair to the kid if they are nto allowed to have a bf/gf because the parents are afraid that they will not be responsible.

Parents, talk to your kid. Explain to them why you are not sure you think they are ready for a relationship like that. They may not let on that they are paying attention, or that they place any value on what you are saying, but they do hear, and they remember. But after that, it is really up to the kid.

They have to grow up sometime, and need to learn to make decisions for themselves. Always make sure they are nto getting into anything too deep, but let them explore. After all, that is how we learn: trial and error.

[Unregistered]

Are you crazy?? Learning from TRIAL AND ERROR?? Ummm, excuse me, but isn't that where all these teenage pregnancies come from? NO WAY. Kids need to wait until they are really mature before they start any relationship. 16-17 is the EARLIEST anyone should have their first bf/gf in my opinion.

[AMB49062]

I think every child should wait utill High school. There's plenty of time to have a mate. Plus having a mate leads to mating, which should wait untill later on in life.

Pebbles

[Unregistered]

I was told of this great website for teachers. It's hard to believe some of the comments are from teachers. Who would think that it is okay for a 5th grade child to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Some of these posts must be from children. That must be the answer, Or I need a new profession.

Amazed.

[Unregistered]

Ahhhhh......

The echoes of our puritan past...bf/gf and what they choose to do (or not do) is not really the issue is it? I think what we should be asking ourselves is WHY a pre-pubecent child feels the need to have a bf/gf.

Lets face it--if puberty has not set in, then hormones/evolutionary drives are not to blame.

I think the reason they want to have bf/gf is simple:

1. They associate a "relationship" with being grown-up--a lot of thier behavior at early ages mimic grown-up behaviors: except we tend not to have a problem with other mimicry behaviors (caring for baby dolls, setting up bank accounts, being student leaders, safety patrol). If the "relationship" is simple mimicry then they probably call themselves bf/gf but not much is going on---other than the label.

2. The child is desparate for love and acceptance. Home issues, low self esteem, lack of supportive environment, peer pressure etc...are the reasons why most people (adults included) throw themselves into a relationship which is not healthy.

On a side note--I happen to be the mother of a 2nd grader who loves the IDEA of the bf/gf issue.

In kindergarden, her bf sat at her same table and they shared a cubby, but she told me she broke up with him b/c he broke her paper wreath and did not apologize.

In 1st grade, her "bf" also sat at her table, but he had to go because he teased her best friend on the playground. later that month at the skate party she found another bf, another 1st grader who helped her stand up when she fell during the chicken dance.

MOST of the elementary kids I know fall into these harmless/mimicry patterns.

You will all be happy to know that when my son asked her if she was planning on kissing/marrying any of the aforementioned "bf" her usual response is "ACK! I'm not doing THAT untill after college."

[Inshock36]

Has anyone ever heard of "growing up too fast?" Kids today need guidance and morals more than ever. We have MTV and BET feeding them with so much garbage that parents have to DO their job and be mature. Why would a child need a bf? That is for high school for crying out loud! Other countries are kicking our butts in eduaction and it's easy to see why when parents are more concerend with their kids being "popular" than knowing how to spell and read! I am a parent and a teacher and their is no way I would ecourage my teenage son to do what some of you are doing. I began homeschooling him in 10th grade because it seems most teens around are without morals and common sense! I have him focus on his education and making being financially stable. Besides, he tells me he doesn't need the hassle of having a girlfriend yet. Thank goodness he is a bright kid. This thread is some sort of joke, right?

[Unregistered]

Have you lost your mind?? With premarital sex and teen pregnancies becoming a norm nowadays, I think that dating and having a boyfriend or girlfriend should begin at age 16. Any younger than that, and you are asking for a promiscuous child. You should really think about what you asked and question your own morals...

[Faithful1]

Actually,I had my first boyfriend in the 5th grade.I never told my parents.It lasted for almost a year.It was hard to concentrate on my schoolwork though.

[Unregistered]

In Grade 5 it's fine to have a g/f or b/f as long as it's in no way sexual. Like a person earlier in this discussion said, it's just mimicry. Half the time they are only going out with people for popularity reasons or to have someone there who they can count on to be like a best friend but one that is officially theirs and theirs alone. As long as the couple is not making out (and by this I mean fully making out not a harmless peck) and the b/f or g/f is not being too much of a distraction, then it's fine. However, keep in mind that problems with friends or groups of friends can also be just as distracting positively and negatively as a b/f or g/f.

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

my daughter won't date during school

[Unregistered]

Chocolate New Orleans,
When do you teach? You seem to spend all of your time on this site answering questions. Hey, no one cares if your daughter dates in school. That was not the question.
GGRRRR!

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

I have a unique schedule to say the least. But don't worry, I can teach, while floating from class to class, make sure my daughter is doing what she should be AND offer opinions

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????
I think yes why not if 2 people love eachother they should go for it

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

I think yes why not if 2 people love eachother they should go for it

bwahahahahahahaha

wait a minute let me catch my breath


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAH :D :D :D

are you kidding me, LOVE????, in the 5th grade


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHH AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA


thanks, I needed a good laugh after today.

[Unregistered]

That's hilarious! No 5th grader knows what love is. I think you should just wait. I mean, 5th graders arnt even teens. Wait till your 13/14. Enjoy your youth. Someday youll be 13/14 but you arnt now so just WAIT!

[Mr. H]

AGREED! Most adults don't know what love is. Most stumble through life thinking that they're a half of a whole as opposed to two wholes making something greater. Kids are imulating what they see in the media and read in books. It's not always a bad thing, they could learn something from it. It can be a growth experience. But it sure isn't LOVE

[Unregistered]

Now wait just a minute. All of you adults, and kids alike, love is a very important factor in life. Without love what would the world be? A total mess (more than it is. lol). There should be no limit to love. If your kid wants to have a bf or gf, let him/her have one... but yes, no sexual activity until 18 or so... or when your parent and you feel like you can do it... Adults often resrict children making them do bad things... a kid need to be a kid... and if you homeschool your kids... let them go on chat sites... they need friends. Trial and error is one of the best ways to learn... if you let your child have a bf or gf when he/she is young, she/he will know what to do around the oposite gender. As I said before, restricting your child can lead to problems... if can hurt your relationship between you and them. If your child is very imature then you might want to... checkup ... on his/her relationship with his/her gf of bf... that is all I have to say...

Your's Truly,

A Sixth Grader

[Unregistered]

How do u get a bf? that wy im looking on this thread at all, u kno. im in 5th grade, 2. i reely wnt tips for how to get a bf.

[Unregistered]

does anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend??

i do think that kids in 4th and 5th graders should be boyfriend and girlfriend because everyday when i walk into my classroom there always kids makingout or flirting and everything else.Then after school we go downtown and have a bite to eat with eachother i also hope then when little kids reach 4th and 5th grade they will do the same,.
i hope you listen to this........
if you have a qute say it thanx
buhbyez

i commpeatly agree

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

Now wait just a minute. All of you adults, and kids alike, love is a very important factor in life. Without love what would the world be? A total mess (more than it is. lol). There should be no limit to love. If your kid wants to have a bf or gf, let him/her have one... but yes, no sexual activity until 18 or so... or when your parent and you feel like you can do it... Adults often resrict children making them do bad things... a kid need to be a kid... and if you homeschool your kids... let them go on chat sites... they need friends. Trial and error is one of the best ways to learn... if you let your child have a bf or gf when he/she is young, she/he will know what to do around the oposite gender. As I said before, restricting your child can lead to problems... if can hurt your relationship between you and them. If your child is very imature then you might want to... checkup ... on his/her relationship with his/her gf of bf... that is all I have to say...

Your's Truly,

A Sixth Grader

chat sites, great idea, nothing ever happens to middle school girls because of chat sites.

Go back to watching spongebob

[Unregistered]

yes a boyfriend r girlfriend is good for somebody but if you let them date or love too early that can cause trouble between the opposite gender like I am a woman and I not yet have heard of a student in this school district have a relationship and I approach a middle school.so you should think about what could happen if you let the students attend a relationship at school.If students are in a relationship that could distraact them from their school progress.You should think about the school work

[Mr. H]

Oh, for the love of St Pete!!:eek: Kids, I know you're trying to help here but mostly you're hurting your own case. Not only are your language skills appalling, but spelling and grammar usage are key to presenting a case... it lends credibility to your opinion/case on a very base level. If you're at a computer I would suggest typing it in a word program and running the spelling and grammar check. :o You are in school, use what we're teaching you!! :o

[Unregistered]

The problem with this country is the idea that people have no sense of right and wrong anymore. It's because of these "responsible" parents allowing their young children to be in a "romantic" relationship with anyone. I sure don't want my children being misled by the secular world to believe that pre marital sex is ok because it isn't for the simple fact that children born out of those situations do not get the stability they deserve. In this country, there are twelve year olds having sex and pretty soon the UN will take away parents' rights to stop the immoral behaviors. Immorality is the problem with this country and the thought that each person is able to decide right and wrong regardless of the laws of nature. And for anyone who says dating at such a young age is wrong for teaching children that heterosexual relationships are the only way, well, according to the laws of nature, procreation can only occur in that sort of relationship, so it can't exactly be considered wrong. These are just a few of the reasons I choose to homeschool. I don't want my children bringing home propagandic lies that I will have to un-teach.

[Unregistered]

it doesnt sound like it matters.i believe that it is cute.and is isnt a bad thing.but i think it is up 2 the parents.but i let my child.

[Unregistered]

I'm a 6th grader I'm not spots date but i have a boy friend that i was friends with for 2 years we see ether 1 a year i can't lie to my mom enny longer so I'm going to brake it off. I don't want to get pregnant at the age 12-18 i want to wait till i get marred so.

[Unregistered]

Hi my name is nikki and i am 17 and in the 11th grade now. I think that by 5th grade you should have a bf/gf. I didnt have a boyfriend until I was in the 10th grade and now I am ingaged. I love my fiance very much, he takes care of me and he is there when I need him. :)

u should not be ingaged at 17 just don't get pregnet if your not already

[STUDENT]

Firstly everyone ask yourself these questions. Are 5th and 6th graders mature in their decisions? Do you think they're capable of maintaining their school work while 'dating' another person? What can dating at an early age lead to?

You date to marry. This statement alone negates almost any case that agrees with letting an elementary student date. Many of these children do not even know the work, the love, the commitment, that goes into a relationship and therefore cannot choose someone to meet these requirments. Sure everyone has a common 'crush' on another kid, but this is expected. The mistake that middle-schoolers and intermediate grade students make is that this simple 'crush' is love. This common misconception has a lot to do with the CRAP that they see on the T.V. The media now-a-days is teaching children that it's okay to stick their fingers down their throats to look like Paris Hilton, and that swearing is just another intelligent way to express your emotions, and that it's perfectly fine to want a BF or GF to screw at the age of 12. The media is exploiting women as property. (as a sex partner) Girls who are considering dating before 16...remember that many of these boys are just in it for looks. Why do you think they hit on you? It's because you're just developing boobs!

I'm being blunt, but a lot of this needs to be said in the simplest form possible. Also parents, unless you want YOUR baby to have a baby, then educate them in the ways of dating. Teach them that it's best to wait until an appropriate age to date because they need maturity to handle a relationship. Many of them will give you the, "but i'm in love" or "everyone else is doing it" excuses. Well parents, everyone else is smoking marijuana too, but that doesnt' mean it's okay! And listen up middle-schoolers...LOVE is not what you think it is. Love is loving the person for what they are as well as what they're not. Mistaking liking and loving can lead to immorality. If you like someone, but are CONVINCED that you're in love with them you'll do things for that person that aren't part of your standards. Many fall victem of losing their virginity because the boyfriend used the, "you'll do it if you love me" excuse on them. (FYI-the boyfriend usually dumps them after he got what he wanted out of them)

You're most likely not going to marry until AT LEAST 21! So don't be in a hurry to grow up! Don't be in a rush to get a boyfriend or girlfriend. The girl who's engaged at the age of 17 is probably pregnant or was immoral and HAS to marry someone she won't love in a couple of years. She was in a hurry to grow up too soon. And now she'll be in a hurry to get a job to pay for her, her husband, her bills, and the baby! And in case you don't know how much that will be...it's THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS A MONTH!

I went to middle school...I KNOW how nice it looks to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. But in all reality the relationship (if you can call it that) will last a week. Boys don't even MATURE until 16...

This is a lot to think about. Dating is what you do when you're trying to find the one person you're going to marry. And you want to marry someone you'll want to be with for your entire life. Someone who's great with kids for when you have them, someone who has a steady job, someone who will devote his or her life to the other person and be your companion as well has your best friend. YOU CAN'T FIND THIS IN ELEMENTARY AND MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!! Wait until you're 16 to date and I PROMISE you won't regret anything about it...

[Unregistered]

[QUOTE=Unregistered;1796] well I think that it should be o.k.As the parents knows.

[student]

Your complete oblivion to the consequences tells me you're a elementary or middle school student...

[Unregistered]

AGREED! Most adults don't know what love is. Most stumble through life thinking that they're a half of a whole as opposed to two wholes making something greater. Kids are imulating what they see in the media and read in books. It's not always a bad thing, they could learn something from it. It can be a growth experience. But it sure isn't LOVE

Exactly!!!


Also if you wait until your older you will appreciate it more. You will be mature enough to *hopefully* make the right choices. Also, you should not have a boyfriend because you think it will make you popular or make you look older than you are. In fact it makes you look younger because it looks like your a litle kid trying to be old and why would you try to be old if you were old?! okay i know that is confusing but the bottom line is just don't date at that age. You are probably just wanting to because others are but those relationships are not real boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. Dont use someone to make you more popular. It makes you look really shallow. Enjoy having fun without worring about this stuff but i do think it is important to have friends of the opposite gender it helps you to be ready for more romantic relationships.

XOX

[Ashley Neill]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????




yes I think they should, but not go any farther then hugging each other and holding hands.

[Tee]

I feel that kids should enjoy their childhood. But all kids need boundries. DO NOT LET THE CHILD BE THE PARENT!!!! Let him or her know that having friends are good but not gf/bf. A child in the fifth grade should not be thinking about girlfriends or boyfriends. But this is a new error. Things have changed so we as people have to be open about these questions being asked. We have to know our children.

If my child every told me that she have a bf in the fifith grade. I will just correct her. You have a friend. You are not grown enough to have a bf/ gf. But I will let her have friends come over both sexes only up under adult supervison b/c kids are sneaky.

By the way my daughter is four months old. I have a long way to go but time has changed. For those parents who are older and stuck in that old way you need to wake up!!! And pay attention to the new and improve generation. Changes is definetly coming. So don't be to hard but be reasonable and STAY IN CONTOL OF THINGS. ANY QUESTIONS EMAIL ME AT RED_042004@YAHOO.COM

[Tee]

My email addres is red_042004@yahoo.com

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????

i have one

[Precious]

In MY opinion, I don't think 5th graders are supposed to have boyfriends/girlfriends at this moment in their lives. It's too early to experience love life in their lives. They don't have to worry about it at this moment because they have a lot of time to have fun, and think about having boyfriends/girlfriends later. 5th graders should have experience before getting into a relationship. If they don't have experiences, they would just regret the relationship.





-XoXo-
~*PreciouS*~

[Unregistered]

No. Absolutely not. They're too young. They need to establish good relationships in their home with family. Then outside the home just friends and when they're able to handle regular friend relationships maybe they'll be ready to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Right now they are too young emotionally to handle a relationship.

Concerned Mom and Teacher

[Unregistered]

I think I'Ts all right to have a bf or gf in 5th grade because i'm in 5th geade and really like this girl name briana and you grown ups tell us that you had a bf/gf in 5th grade and asking your children (Do you have a gf ).I'Ts really distracting us and just pushing us to get a gf or bf. P.S.(I'm a 5th grader that has feelings for that girl). ;( meany's

[Unregistered]

Close to 40% of all students go through their grade K-12 education without having a relationship of any kind. I'm working to be a guidance counselor and that a stats from a National Agency.

Hi all i am new around here and i have to put my 2 cents in here .... I totally agree with the one and too who oppose this type of thing happing.. Your right to say should is like telling are children that its ok to "date" . and to all of you who thing that its cute and all why don't you take a look at the teen pregnancy rate and tell me if you think its still cute or how about all the teens who hide there pregnancy and dump innocent babies in to the garbage cans. Or even look at the fact that almost half of Americas young women are single NOT MARRIED IS WHAT I MEAN and raising these babies by self. Now why would you want your child your precious child boy or girl to end up like that because saying that its ok to do adult things LIKE "Dating" is saying that every thing else is ok ie sex having kids and all or are you a parent who believes in Contradicting them selves. ie "Sure why not go ahead and have a boyfriend but you cannot kiss and hug" Yeah right all you are saying is I do not want to see you do that and if you do be careful here are some condoms" Now what kind of parent are you then. This is sad to tell your child that it is ok to have premarital sex is out of this world we have totally no back bone parents weak as heck. who cannot even say no to there children. Lets do this, Lets start off on a better note and re arrange who we are raising our children and put some value into there lives and make there world worth living for and show them that being a parent with strong love to tell us NO some times. Its not gonna KILL you or do you want HIV to de the reason that KILLS your child. Enough said!!!

By a mother who cares about my childrens future!

[Unregistered]

i think that yr5 is a great time for kids to have a boyfriend/ girlfriend. i have 5 kids - 15yo boy twins, 14yo boy, 12yo girl + 11yo boy.
My eldest boys had their first girlfriends at 9, and by 10 they had pashed many girls. now, at 15, are very experienced. my next son had his first girlfriend around the same age and continues going very far with girls now. my daughter had her first boyfriend at around age 10 and has a very close boyfriend now. my youngest son has his first girlfriend at the moment, and pashed her for the first time on her birthday 2 weeks ago.
they are happy with my decisions in letting them do as mmuch as they think is sensible and i trust them.
i think you should let your child have a boyfriend/ girlfriend if he/she wants to.

Hi all i am new around here and i have to put my 2 cents in here .... I totally agree with the one and too who oppose this type of thing happing.. Your right to say should is like telling are children that its ok to "date" . and to all of you who thing that its cute and all why don't you take a look at the teen pregnancy rate and tell me if you think its still cute or how about all the teens who hide there pregnancy and dump innocent babies in to the garbage cans. Or even look at the fact that almost half of Americas young women are single NOT MARRIED IS WHAT I MEAN and raising these babies by self. Now why would you want your child your precious child boy or girl to end up like that because saying that its ok to do adult things LIKE "Dating" is saying that every thing else is ok ie sex having kids and all or are you a parent who believes in Contradicting them selves. ie "Sure why not go ahead and have a boyfriend but you cannot kiss and hug" Yeah right all you are saying is I do not want to see you do that and if you do be careful here are some condoms" Now what kind of parent are you then. This is sad to tell your child that it is ok to have premarital sex is out of this world we have totally no back bone parents weak as heck. who cannot even say no to there children. Lets do this, Lets start off on a better note and re arrange who we are raising our children and put some value into there lives and make there world worth living for and show them that being a parent with strong love to tell us NO some times. Its not gonna KILL you or do you want HIV to de the reason that KILLS your child. Enough said!!!

By a mother who cares about my childrens future!

[Unregistered]

I do not know where you guys live or what your standards are, but I think that elementary and middle school are not the most mature years of any childs life. I am a mother of 4 children and I have to tell you that my youngest son is 13 and he has several "girlfriends". These "girlfriends" are just that, friends. We have raised our children not to "date" just anyone. We feel that they should start out with a friendship type relationship and see where that develops. At a later age, high school, then they can think about the dating thing.
I just don't feel that children should be encouraged to bounce around from one girlfriend or boyfriend to the next. A long lasting relationship is based on a friendship that develops to the next levels naturally through time.
Encouraging children to develop serious relationships at an early age is just asking for trouble in the inth degree. I want my children to start out any dating relationship with someone whom they really like not just want to have sex with.
We have raised our children to believe that sex is not a part of dating but that it is a God given part of marriage. It is the union part of the wedding vows, both becoming one. Not something to just do as part of the dating ritual.

[Annettemcd]

I think that one of the big problems with boyfriend/girlfriend relationship for young children is when they are exclusive. Young children, even high school students, learn the most socially and have the most fun when they can have a variety of different friends at different levels and can be involved in different activities with different group of kids. The harm is not with the elementary school aged child having a bf/gf when it is a friend of the opposite sex, but when it is a restrictive friendship: "You have to be with me because I am your boyfriend (girlfriend) and you can not be with _____ or do _______. I am the only one that you can spend time with." This kind of reasoning leads to sexual activity because the thinking is that that is what girlfriends and boyfriends do.

Two of my 17 yo daughter's best friends are boys, but they are not boyfriends. She has known both of them most of her life and they are more like brothers than anything else. Last night she went to a high school prom with a group of girls and had a great time and lots of fun! She claims that in this small town (600 people), she does not want to date any of the boys that she has known most of her life. There is plenty of time for her to date in college. This week her classmates voted her "Most likely to suceed" and I think that she is!

My son dated very little in high school, but was very social, active, involved and popular. (He was elected King of the Prom in his senior year.) Luckily, my children's school encourages students to be involved in different activities, even prom, without having to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. They even have an after-prom party all night long, but the students are locked in the school with supervision and have lots of activities and fun. Everyone goes!

I like the teacher who told her students that having boyfriends and girlfriends was not allowed. Then the students had an easy way to say, "No," to peer pressure.

It is not cute for young child to mimic adult behavior when it involves sexuality and exclusivity in relationships; that is what marriage is about, not childhood friendships. Childhood is a time for fun, play, and learning, not being in a relationship with just one person.

[Unregistered]

I am a 5th grade teacher. Several years ago, I taught in an alternative high school. We had a 9 year old girl who gave birth and was sent to the alternative high school. How did it happen you ask? Besides the normal channels? Well, Mom and Dad didn't see anything wrong with their 4th grader having a "boyfriend" they weren't "doing anything".. yeah right.. and nine months later out popped the watermelon.. I mean BABY.. c'mon folks.. I tell my students that until they have a means of support and a car, they shouldn't consider "dating".. Which would be at least age 16.

I also tell them not to date anyone they wouldn't consider marrying.. for obvious reasons.. not that it's necessary in this day and age..

I, too, don't allow bf/gf talk in my classroom.

Later

[Unregistered]

i think u should have 1 (a serious) bf/gf when ur in yr10 but when ur in grade 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 u should just make friends with the oposite gender and get to no what they are like before u go out with them

[Unregistered]

what does pash or pashed mean?

[Grade 6 student]

It really depends on your point of veiw and you expeiriences. I think by grade 6 is a good time (But i'm only saying that because I love someone) though it does depend on many things. I can understand why other people disagree and they have reason too. I doubt this issue will ever settled.

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

It really depends on your point of veiw and you expeiriences. I think by grade 6 is a good time (But i'm only saying that because I love someone) though it does depend on many things. I can understand why other people disagree and they have reason too. I doubt this issue will ever settled.

you only "love" this boy as much as you love your favorite pair of jeans. In a year, they will be out of style and you will have moved on to another pair of jeans you think that you love more.

aaahhhh, children, :rolleyes: It's so cute they think they are adults.

[Unregistered]

All the kids in 5th and 6th should have a girlfriend (boy friend)if they wanted to. Just let them have a boyfriend or girl friend if they want to. So they dont feel bad about not haveing a boyfriend or girlfriend. And i am a 5th grade just to tell you. And if they dont get the girl(boy)they want they will feel depressed and keep on thinkingaboout the girl(boy)they like insted of there homework and stuff.

[Unregistered]

i think that yr5 is a great time for kids to have a boyfriend/ girlfriend. i have 5 kids - 15yo boy twins, 14yo boy, 12yo girl + 11yo boy.
My eldest boys had their first girlfriends at 9, and by 10 they had pashed many girls. now, at 15, are very experienced. my next son had his first girlfriend around the same age and continues going very far with girls now. my daughter had her first boyfriend at around age 10 and has a very close boyfriend now. my youngest son has his first girlfriend at the moment, and pashed her for the first time on her birthday 2 weeks ago.
they are happy with my decisions in letting them do as mmuch as they think is sensible and i trust them.
i think you should let your child have a boyfriend/ girlfriend if he/she wants to.
I hope this is a joke. Otherwise I think you are way off base.Your children are much too young at 9 or 10 to go as far as they can.

[student....]

I think we've all agreed, save the naieve little elementary kids, that dating early leads to stupidity and disaster....

Honestly, is there any point in dating before you can drive? Or can think about marriage in a realistic point of view?

[Mr. H]

I believe the typical stance of the adults is that it is inappropriate, not "nasty". Dating shouldn't be a way to meet people... you should already know someone before you decide to 'date' them.

[student]

So, quite honestly listen to your parents. You don't need to date. Tell him that maybe in two years or so....when he can DRIVE you to a date, that you'd be more than happy to go.

Dating is a complete joke before you're 16.

You date to find the person you're going to marry...you shouldn't be thinking about marriage until you're close to doing it! So, it's completely stupid to say yes to a 14 year old boy when he can't do anything with you....are you going to have your mom drive you to a movie?

So, don't throw a fit about it, they were in your position once. They know what you're going through believe it or not.

[Mr. H]

So, quite honestly listen to your parents. You don't need to date. Tell him that maybe in two years or so....when he can DRIVE you to a date, that you'd be more than happy to go.

Dating is a complete joke before you're 16.

You date to find the person you're going to marry...you shouldn't be thinking about marriage until you're close to doing it! So, it's completely stupid to say yes to a 14 year old boy when he can't do anything with you....are you going to have your mom drive you to a movie?

So, don't throw a fit about it, they were in your position once. They know what you're going through believe it or not.

Whereas I agree that dating under the age of 16 is a joke, I think that once students reach high school age, they can begin the foray into dating. I also think parents should be kept in the loop.

Dating serves to socialize oneself in an effort to be able to find a lasting mate. No one under the age of 18 has need of an actual mate and the chances of a high school relationship lasting after graduation are nil to none, these days. It was different 20 years ago, but with the divorce rate at all time highs.... The whole idea of teen dating to find "the one" is ridiculous!

16 seems like a good age to begin dating... even if most sixteen year olds are so completely self-absorbed that a serious relationship is completely impossible. :o

[BLBO]

Dating serves to socialize oneself in an effort to be able to find a lasting mate. No one under the age of 18 has need of an actual mate and the chances of a high school relationship lasting after graduation are nil to none, these days. It was different 20 years ago, but with the divorce rate at all time highs.... The whole idea of teen dating to find "the one" is ridiculous!

:o

I have to disagree with the last statement quoted. My husband and I met when we were in Jr. High. We then dated in the last couple years of high school and the first year of college. We were married the summer before our second year of college and we anticipate growing old together. We were eighteen and nineteen when we married and we are going on thirteen years of marriage.

In "Family Life" (read "Sex Ed.") in my freshman year of H.S. we had to make a list of what we wanted in a mate and share it with the class. The list of qualities I presented was quite long. My fellow classmates laughed and said I would never find anyone who would meet all the qualifications. I , unlike them, was determined not to settle for less than my expectations.

It may seem daunting, but it is doable. Keep in mind that many of the divorces that are recorded include couples who have had multiple divorces. Therefore, the numbers can be slightly deceptive.

[Mr. H]

I have to disagree with the last statement quoted. My husband and I met when we were in Jr. High. We then dated in the last couple years of high school and the first year of college. We were married the summer before our second year of college and we anticipate growing old together. We were eighteen and nineteen when we married and we are going on thirteen years of marriage.

In "Family Life" (read "Sex Ed.") in my freshman year of H.S. we had to make a list of what we wanted in a mate and share it with the class. The list of qualities I presented was quite long. My fellow classmates laughed and said I would never find anyone who would meet all the qualifications. I , unlike them, was determined not to settle for less than my expectations.

It may seem daunting, but it is doable. Keep in mind that many of the divorces that are recorded include couples who have had multiple divorces. Therefore, the numbers can be slightly deceptive.

I dare say that you and your husband would be the exceptions to the rule. And how long ago was this that you got married? I just don't see too many socially responsible kids in the schools these days.

[Unregistered]

hey people yeah i know some people are too young to have a boyfriend but what if a a girl and a boy really like eacth other!! and that girl has to move ! with out the parents knowing that they are going out!! and are going to miss each other!! ??????

[Unregistered]

i think 5th graders should be aloud to date

[Mr. H]

i think 5th graders should be aloud to date

let me guess, you're in the 5th grade.... :rolleyes:

[StuTeacher23]

let me guess, you're in the 5th grade.... :rolleyes:

It would only seem to make sense!

[Unregistered]

hey
YEs DATEING EARLY IS GOOD! I am a grade 6er and i had a gf last year. No it didnt mess with my studies and stuff, in fact i did awsome when i had a gf. Havin a gf gave me a reason to do good in class cuz right after id go see my gf. And trust me it took us a few weeks before we decided to kiss. When we knew it was time. There was NO chance of anything happening exept for us kissing. The only problem is when they dump you. If u are a 6th grader or somthing reading this take caution. MAKE SURE U ARE READDY TO TAKE THE DUMP BEFORE U DECIDE TO ASK A GIRL OUT! If she says no BACK OFF! so its good to date if u are readdy for it. I was readdy.

[Mr. H]

Great just what I needed: a lesson in pre-adolescent dating. From a pre-adolescent, I might add

:rolleyes:

[Unregistered]

Will people make fun fo tou if you don't have one

[Mr. H]

Ok, the one lesson I hope every kid out there gets is this: If you aren't happy with who you are alone, there is no way that you can be happy in a relationship.

The media has really hyped up the NEED for having some kind of relationship other than friends and there is just no need for it. Be a kid! Have fun! You don't need boyfriends and girlfriends, just friends.

[Jb41196Teacher]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????

I have a lot of students that date but some of them cant find anyine or they are not ready yet. I cant believe you would say thaat. Even know I had on in 6th grade... NO ONE SHOULD DATE BEFORE THEN IN MY OPINION!

[Unregistered]

I agree with you, Mr. H., when you say that if you need to like yourself when you're alone and if not then a relationship will not imprive the situation.
I've taught 5th grade for 23 years and one thing I know from this experience. If you, a 5th grader, can't take or have not yet taken the responsibility to learn the basic multiplication facts, know how to tell a noun from a verb or an adjective from an adverb, know the difference between a physical and chemical change, or that the President is sworn in to office on January 20 (a recent question on Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader?), then you are not ready for the responsibility of dating. Too many adults who do know these things aren't ready for the responsibility. Maybe that's why the annual divorce rate is half that of the annual marriage rate.
I've followed this posting for several months without posting any response. I do wonder if Vanessa still looks in from time to time. If so, allow me to say that your attitude is refreshing from a Generation Xer. I have little doubt that you have had some wonderful, supportive parents and teachers and hopefully you told them thank you for being frank with you.

[Unregistered]

I'm in fifth grade im more mature then some adults ive had a girlfriend since the beggining of the year ive had "crushes" on girls since 2nd grade i dont go on dates. My parents allow (they dont know i have a girlfriend because they would probaly screw it up) And i know all about sex,pregnancy, etc.

And anyone who thinks im to young to have a girlfriend , think what you wanna think cause its my life and i intend to do what i want with it.

thank you,

Avery Mackey

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????



Yes. Ofcourse. If they want to, then let them be free. That's usually good for a healthy inviorment. Am I right? your child should grow up to be a very understanding person and allready know everything that they should know at the time about a good and healthy relationship.

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????

BY 5TH GRADE U IZ CRAZY BUT IF U LOVE THE U IZ KOOL WIHT HIM/HER.

[Unregistered]

Children in the fifth grade should not date. I have a 15 year old and will not let her date until she is 16. Come on people fifth graders?? We really need to check our values and really focus on what is important.

[Unregistered]

Absolutly not! I would say that a fifth grader should not have a boyfriend/girlfriend. That is crazy. At the earliest, it should be in grade 7/8.

[Unregistered]

WHO IS ASKING THIS A PARENT OR A CHILD?

IF IT IS A PARENT ASKING THIS YOU NEED TO SEE YOUR CHILDS SCHOOL COUNSELOR.

IF YOU ARE A CHILD ASKING THIS I DON'T THINK YOU ARE GOING TO GET MUCH HELP HERE. NOT THAT WE DON'T CARE, BUT YOU ARE STILL JUST A CHILD. ENJOY YOUR TIME AS A KID NOW BECAUSE IT WON'T BE LIKE THIS FOREVER. DO WHAT CHILDREN DO BEST, PLAY, HAVE FUN AND LAUGH A LOT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS???

THERE ARE ALWAYS MORE FISH IN THE SEA?

who is writing this?!?!?! I think every one should have agirl or boy freind by 4th grade

[Unregistered]

I Agree With The 1st Guy He Is Soooooooooooooooo Right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Unregistered]

4th Grade! Do you realize that these are 9 year old kids? No way, I have never heard of anything like this. Middle School at the earliest.

[Grade 6 student]

It depends because sometimes there is real love at grade five(I can kinda relate but I'm in grade 6, another storie, but I did have a crush in grade 5 though) though 90% of the time it isn't. It depends on the person based on their maturity. If they are mature enough(which includes it not affecting school) then it should be alright but everyone is different. Some people are plain stuborn and won't accept the fact that some people should be allowed to date. You should take the subject seriously but at the same time open minded. Do what you think is right but remember to be open mided

[Unregistered]

For the previous poster: What is a 6th grader doing up, posting messages at midnight??? You should not be allowed to date for another year and should have been in bed for at least two hours. That's if you are even who you say you are.

[Jaken 491]

Trust me. It's hard for me to go to sleep at night and I am who I say I am. I don't have any reason to date this year, School is almost over (june 27)

[Unregistered]

okay soo yeah this is pretty ridiculous.. i mean are you serious 10 year olds having boyfriends/girlfriends?? um i just turned 16 and i still have yet to get my first boyfriend !! its really pathetic i know but anyway .. yeah so i know that back in the day when i was in 4th grade i really liked this kid justin who liked me back and we always sat next to each other and went to the stupid little dance "together" (mind you, he stayed with all our boy friends and i stayed with our girl friends haha) and we talked on the phone like once, referred to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend.. but of course nothing ever happened like wth we never made out are you ppl insane ?? lol i think thats just disgusting and whoever thinks that dating should start in elementary school is just a sick f&^%. =] anyways kids today have their minds corrupted too damn early with all these slutty people we see on tv and all the sexually explicit music on the radio.. its weird but when i was growing up it was like a totally different world and it was only 10 years ago !! my little cousin is 8 and had two 'boyfriends' already - both of which she kissed on the mouth.. its really crazy how kids are growing up so damn fast already - hell you should see some of these 8th graders that are coming to my school next year .. they're worse than the girls in my grade and we're 16 !!

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????


maybe but they really don't understand boyfriend and girlfriends at that age

[Unregistered]

hell ya




ohhhh ya




i know i did

[Unregistered]

i dont think its the right time to have a gf or a bf...

[Unregistered]

School just ended today!

[Unregistered]

It depends because sometimes there is real love at grade five(I can kinda relate but I'm in grade 6, another storie, but I did have a crush in grade 5 though) though 90% of the time it isn't. It depends on the person based on their maturity. If they are mature enough(which includes it not affecting school) then it should be alright but everyone is different. Some people are plain stuborn and won't accept the fact that some people should be allowed to date. You should take the subject seriously but at the same time open minded. Do what you think is right but remember to be open mided

I'm raising my children with this in mind and my family is all happy

[Unregistered]

as a parent I think kids should be able to have a bf/gf. I t's working for my kids

[...]

you learn through trial and error

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????

teachers and parents are trippin its like we kiss we shoud be able tohang out together and not be really boyfriend girlfriend with each other

[Unregistered]

i think you are extending it to far if they have bf/gf doesnt mean they will have you know what if they want to play together and not get distracted about it cool i know when i was in 5th grade i had a crush and never thought about doing it
Damn

[Unregistered]

I think its fine for that to happen as long as they dont have sex and dont go on to many dates.

[Unregistered]

Hi,I am going into 6th grade and i looked up something like this on google and I think it's really wrong to say no they can't because it is THEIR life not yours! I have a boyfriend and me and him don't kiss or hug or any of that stuff yet we have been going out for 4 months now! My parents found out about 2 months ago but they weren't mad or unhappy for me they just act the same. My brothers make fun of me though well one of them do. I mean letting your kid in 5th grade to have a boyfriend is fine I think because they aren't going to do anything inappropriate. So please take my advice and let your child do what they want to do please?Thank you

[kooll mom]

i think that a girl is reaady for a boyfriend at the age of 13 becuase she just got into maturity and please if you keep waiting for them to have a boyfriend untill there like 18 they are gonna explode and be like prostetutes or they will just do it behind your backs i wanna say that whoever said that its ok for children under the age of 15 to have sex thats just stupid they are not ready for what we mothers gone throu ght right lol

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????

I think people should not date, but I think people can like each other. Maybe even play at each other's house.

[Unregistered]

Absolutely not!
When you finish high school and or college and are ready to date for marriage...then think about a boyfriend or girl friend. Stay pure till marriage. Don't mess up your life with mind games and broken hearts!
Be a kid...enjoy your friends and keep the romance out until you are ready to settle down!

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????

No affense to the children but some won't get any and that is ok. Highschool would be the best place because if they get a boyfriend in year 5 that means they will get a tatoo in year 7 and do other stuff early. That is not very responsible.

[heyjude]

Correct me if I'm wrong but having a boyfriend or a girlfriend in year 5 isn't what some are making it out to be. It's all just being special friends, maybe holding hands and if you're lucky a peck on the cheek. If these people aren't allowed to experience this at a young age and in a safe environment at school (school is still a safe place right??) what do you suppose will be the outcome? As I said, special friends. . .who can take that away from them?!?

[Unregistered]

NO!!! A fifth grader should not have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Absolutly not.

[Unregistered]

As adults we should be the last ones promoting such a thing. Children grow up way to fast as it is in this day and age. They do not need to pair off in such a way. The MTV society is already promoting early dating and sexuality. It is up to us as educators to not only teach our students the 3 R's but also to guide them in maters that can lead to problematic lives---momma at 13

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend????????????????? no way wait untill 6th grade or 7th.

[Unregistered]

Don't be so absurd as to hurry children into boyfriend/girlfriend situations. With the hormonal changes happening at this time, the last thing they need is to be pressured into pointless relationships. They have no idea at this age because they haven't developed the language, thought-patterns, patience, EMPATHY and general social 'know-how' to even contemplate being called anything but a 'friend' to their peers. Let them concentrate on what's happening physically to their bodies and minds at this time.

[Jaken 491]

no way wait untill 6th grade or 7th.

I agree completly:D

[Unregistered]

No. Simply put.

[Unregistered]

i don't think it's a big deal as long as it's innocent. it's not like they have cars and can do stuff they're not supposed to do. You as their parent have to drive them and you are in control of how often they "see" eachother. I had a bf in 5th gr. and all it was was a title we never did anything. I'm going to be a elem. ed teacher in a year and it's going to happen whether you like it or not so you might as well be supportive so they don't sneak behind your back. because trust me I did it and they will do it toO!

[Unregistered]

i'm 23 and i've never had any kind of relationship with guys what-so-ever! being a 5th grader is definitely way too young to even be thinking about being in a relationship!

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Unregistered]

ok me im a kid my self and having a boyfriend or girlfriend in the 5th grade is no big deal since im in the 5th grade i have bf my self my parents dont mind as long as we dont do anything wrong if you know what i mean i mean usually sometimes kids say there going out and barely talk to eathcother other times they just hang out like normal bestfriends and if they where to kiss it would be on the cheek its nothing big but i agree with the distraction stuff i mean its ok to have a bf or gf in the 5th grade cause we dont do anything sexual

[Unregistered]

My daughter is in fourth grade and is quite mature for her age. She is having her first experience with a "boyfriend" in school, and I see no harm in it as long as they're not together unsupervised. She is very, very smart, and so is he - they're both in a magnet program for gifted children in their school. The things he says to her are incredibly sweet and remarkably mature for a boy his age. He truly seems to be quite smitten with her, and I find it rather touching.

My daughter does not watch MTV or other age-inappropriate TV, so she's not learning about sex from sources that could distort her view of what is and isn't okay for a child her age. She isn't permitted to watch R-rated movies, either. About the worst it gets in her TV viewing is The Simpsons; other than that, it's strictly educational television, such as PBS or Animal Planet. She is bright, confident, and a straight-A student. Now, I'm not about to encourage her to run off and get married, but I'm also not going to discourage a young romance that does not interfere with her education or her relationships/friendships with other children.

My parents did not permit me to date until I was in high school, and when the time came I still made bad decisions and dated some not-so-nice boys. For a first boyfriend, my daughter could do far worse than a boy who tells her - despite the fact that she is already quite beautiful - that he cares about "what is on the inside, not the outside." My hope is that learning to be discriminating with boys at a young age - that is, choosing for boyfriends the ones who will treat her with the respect and admiration she deserves - will help her to develop good judgment that will keep her out of abusive or unhealthy relationships as she grows older.
I think that as long as parents keep themselves informed of and involved in what is happening in their children's lives, it's okay to let middle-schoolers take those first forays into innocent romance as a normal part of adolescent development.

[Jaken 491]

My daughter is in fourth grade and is quite mature for her age. She is having her first experience with a "boyfriend" in school, and I see no harm in it as long as they're not together unsupervised. She is very, very smart, and so is he - they're both in a magnet program for gifted children in their school. The things he says to her are incredibly sweet and remarkably mature for a boy his age. He truly seems to be quite smitten with her, and I find it rather touching.

My daughter does not watch MTV or other age-inappropriate TV, so she's not learning about sex from sources that could distort her view of what is and isn't okay for a child her age. She isn't permitted to watch R-rated movies, either. About the worst it gets in her TV viewing is The Simpsons; other than that, it's strictly educational television, such as PBS or Animal Planet. She is bright, confident, and a straight-A student. Now, I'm not about to encourage her to run off and get married, but I'm also not going to discourage a young romance that does not interfere with her education or her relationships/friendships with other children.

My parents did not permit me to date until I was in high school, and when the time came I still made bad decisions and dated some not-so-nice boys. For a first boyfriend, my daughter could do far worse than a boy who tells her - despite the fact that she is already quite beautiful - that he cares about "what is on the inside, not the outside." My hope is that learning to be discriminating with boys at a young age - that is, choosing for boyfriends the ones who will treat her with the respect and admiration she deserves - will help her to develop good judgment that will keep her out of abusive or unhealthy relationships as she grows older.
I think that as long as parents keep themselves informed of and involved in what is happening in their children's lives, it's okay to let middle-schoolers take those first forays into innocent romance as a normal part of adolescent development.

I agree completley

[Unregistered]

well i think that ur wrong. im a now going into 7th grader person thingy, and just got through a 6th grade relationship. now we are over. i think its fine, just let ur daughter or son go out, if u kinda know the person. and if you feel more comfortable than just meet his/her parents. its perfectly fine. its not like they're gonna do anything...
megan

i think that high school is a good time because, its obvious that megan doesnt know what shes talking about and shes immature, which shows that most kids her age arent ready for a relationship

[Unregistered]

What the heck does pashed mean??????

[Unregistered]

5th grade is too young to start this. The sooner this starts the sooner other things may start. Why let our children grow up so soon?

[Jaken 491]

After I thought things over I thought: fifth graders really aren't to young to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, some grade 5's are actually really mature

[Unregistered]

Is there a gas leak? As a mother of both a 5th and 6th grader AND an educator I would never, ever think that a bfgf is appropriate at this age. THEY ARE CHILDREN!! Not adults..their brains are not developed enough to even come close to comprehending what is involved in an actual relationship. The real reason for all this is attention, acceptance, and that ever-searching need for love from anyone who will give it to them. What is next? Nude pics on myspace? Kids are confusing love with sex and trust me..they are starting WAY to young because that's what they see and think it's cool..everyone is doing it..gotta fit in. The pathatic thing is that once they are out of high school, many say that the pressure is off to be so cookie cutter.

If that was a real kid, their parents need to put the crack pipe down and get involved with their child.

[Unregistered]

um...ok...we need to look at a 5/6th graders view of a "Boy/Girl friend"..I remember my 5th grade boyfriend and the only time we saw each other was at school. the term "Boy/Girl friend" doesnt automatically mean they are going on dates..etc. It could mean to them just holding hand or smiling at each other. And I also remember my 10 year old daughter blushing and running from the room when asked if she had any "guy" friends..Not Boyfriends. Remember 5/6th graders do not think like adults

[Jaken 491]

um...ok...we need to look at a 5/6th graders view of a "Boy/Girl friend"..I remember my 5th grade boyfriend and the only time we saw each other was at school. the term "Boy/Girl friend" doesnt automatically mean they are going on dates..etc. It could mean to them just holding hand or smiling at each other. And I also remember my 10 year old daughter blushing and running from the room when asked if she had any "guy" friends..Not Boyfriends. Remember 5/6th graders do not think like adults

you have the best answer so far:)

[Unregistered]

dose anyone but me think that by 5 grade most kids should have a boyfriend or girlfriend?????????????????
yes everyone should have one

[Unregistered]

hello i agree

[Unregistered]

having a gf/bf is not ok till u r at least in high school! enjoy being a kid while u can! dont rush

[Unregistered]

[QUOTE=Unregistered;2339]As a mom of three girls, ages 17, 14 and 9, and a substitute teacher in a fairly large elementary school (900+ students), I say no to "dating" before high school. I know they're going to do it anyway, and in some ways it's not that harmful. Most of the time, the kids just say they're going out, and often they barely even talk to each other. But I've seen it cause too many jealousies, heartaches and distractions to be worth it. My 17-year-old has been to hell and back numerous times because of other girls believing that Jenny should not go out with their ex-bf. If everything went according to their beliefs, no boy would ever be able to go out with another girl after he broke up with his first girlfriend. That would take just about every guy off the market real quick! Jenny has been beaten up, spit on and had false rumors spread about her because of these crazy ideas.

On the other hand, back when my 9-year-old was in kindergarten, she came home from her first day of school saying she had a boyfriend. Did it do any harm? Not really. She has one now, a cute kid who comes knocking at the door and politely asking, "Is Patricia home?" They jump on the neighbor's trampoline together and ride their bikes around the block, and that's it. Not a worrisome relationship. That said, I'd still rather they just say they're friends and leave it at that. I'm not going to make them break up, because I suspect that they would continue and just not tell me about it. But I do talk to my kids all the time about these little relationships and why they shouldn't make a big deal over them, that they're too young to get too serious, etc. It seems to be working.

Chris[/QUOTEHEY IT DONT MATTER TO ME OR NOT IT IS WHAT IT IS

[Unregistered]

i think that yr5 is a great time for kids to have a boyfriend/ girlfriend. i have 5 kids - 15yo boy twins, 14yo boy, 12yo girl + 11yo boy.
My eldest boys had their first girlfriends at 9, and by 10 they had pashed many girls. now, at 15, are very experienced. my next son had his first girlfriend around the same age and continues going very far with girls now. my daughter had her first boyfriend at around age 10 and has a very close boyfriend now. my youngest son has his first girlfriend at the moment, and pashed her for the first time on her birthday 2 weeks ago.
they are happy with my decisions in letting them do as mmuch as they think is sensible and i trust them.
i think you should let your child have a boyfriend/ girlfriend if he/she wants to.

In response to your post I was just curious what the word "pashed" referrs to? The meaning is very unclear in the context although I hope to God it does not mean what you suggest...I'll try to be optimistic...

[Unregistered]

Leave the bf/gf stuff for the last year of college. By then you will be almost out the door. Seriously though, childhood passes by very fast (faster than kids think). Enjoy the fun of singleness, carefree days, parties, picnics, having loads of fun with all of your friends. Leave exclusivity to the later (more mature) years.

[Unregistered]

um i think um because um i just do

[Unregistered]

I am the father of 4 daughters ages 19, 18, 13, and 11. Of course my 19 and 18 year olds are "adults" now and while I'll still advise them, they'll approach this with their own discretion. But even when they were children like my two youngest my approach was the same...NO WAY! 5th and 6th grade is way too young to even be thinking on that level. That's why the United States is so far behind other countries academically, becau