advice- child abuse situation

[twizlstikz]

sorry i am not quite sure where to put this topic, i just wanted to get some adice about whats best to do in this situation...
well i have a student i have taught for one and a half years. the first half year i taught her she was good, did well did her work, and before that she had always done pretty well. halfway through year 9 she just stopped working and became very rude and disruptive in most of her classes, this has been going on for the last year and i have been quite concerned as she is approaching her school certificate and may fail, but she is highly capeable when she tries and has alot of potential.
i have talked to her numerous times trying to find out what happened and why she wont do anything. i have spoken to her mother also (i know her mother quite well as she works at the same school and she is in my department). well recently the student approached me after class. she seemed quite upset and she told me the reason she is distracted and the reason she cant focus is because of her dad. she wasnt that clear but from what i can understand he has abused her, her mother and her brother quite significantly. the physical abuse had died down in the last few years but there is still quite alot of verbal/emotional abuse. she says she doesnt know what to do because she cant say anything to her mum because she is in a much worse situation and she doesnt want to add to her stress. and she says her friends dont understand.

then she seemed to realise what she had said and said that there is no way i could tell anyone and if her mum knew she said anything she would be so angry and made me promise not to tell anyone.

i am not sure what to do as i know legally you are supposed to report child abuse, but she is 15 and her mother knows about it. she said that her dad was moving out soon. she also said that the middle of last year (the time she started to act funny) her mum had promised they would move out but it never happened.

she is still underachieving and her behaviour is getting worse. can anyone help me!??

[Unregistered]

anythoughts would be apprecaited

[Unregistered]

In Illinois a teacher is mandated by law to report abuse or she/he could lose his/her job. Think about this:
This fifteen year old has been dealing with this for a long time and the entire situation has to come to a head at some point(Gotta hit rock bottom). The fact that she chose you and said something is an obvious cry for help.
Maybe she should be referred to the school psychologist. Explain to her that this may be needed in order for her mother to realize how devastating this is to her daughter.
The other thing is that if you don't report this and soomething happens to them, you will not feel good about yourself. I have been in this situation and I reported it to child social services even though the child begged me not to report it.Child services came to the home several times and finally the male had to move and they were all ok.
Remember, she is fifteen but she is still a child and sometimes the adults in their lives do not do what is best for them.

[talm2082]

She needs help and the only way she is going to get it.. is if someone listens. She is crying out for help... listen to her.

Forget that you are mandated (and you are)... think about her, she wouldn't tell you to tell everyone... it is normal for her to act the way she did... she's scared. But, she needs you to be the adult and do what is right, talk to the guidance counselor at school, principal... do what you must, but act now.

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

wow, it's like she's acting like a teenager. I have seen behavior changes in kids at the same age and it had more to do with the drugs they were on. And we all know, a pothead teenager trying to deflect blame would NEVER lie about something like abuse, don't we :rolleyes:

[Unregistered]

wow, it's like she's acting like a teenager. I have seen behavior changes in kids at the same age and it had more to do with the drugs they were on. And we all know, a pothead teenager trying to deflect blame would NEVER lie about something like abuse, don't we :rolleyes:







Eithor way it should be reported to CPS. If there is no abuse then the CPS agents will note that in their report.


Also, does anyone else suspect that the origonal poster is a highschool student. I have a hard time believing that a teacher would be confused by this situation-since every teacher has at some time called CPS.

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

Eithor way it should be reported to CPS. If there is no abuse then the CPS agents will note that in their report.


Also, does anyone else suspect that the origonal poster is a highschool student. I have a hard time believing that a teacher would be confused by this situation-since every teacher has at some time called CPS.

That law has good intentions, but the punishment for false-reporting should be a LOT higher. The teacher shouldn't be held liable for false reports, since they are required by law, but the person who made the teacher have to report it should be. I hate that reports are done anonymously because the accused has their right to face their accuser taken away.


It's the same thing as when a teacher is accused of something like sexual misconduct. They have to prove their innocence in a country that says you are innocent until proven guilty.

Even if you are cleared after child abuse allegations, your name stays on that list and can haunt you later in life if you try work with kids. Same with false sexual misconduct allegations for teachers.

Too many people use both these situations as retaliations against people they don't like knowing that they can't be held accountable even though it can cost somebody their career

[Unregistered]

[QUOTE=Chocolate_New_Orleans;32883]That law has good intentions, but the punishment for false-reporting should be a LOT higher. The teacher shouldn't be held liable for false reports, since they are required by law, but the person who made the teacher have to report it should be. I hate that reports are done anonymously because the accused has their right to face their accuser taken away.





The problem with punishment for false reporting is that you then have to prove a negative. If there are signs of abuse then abuse can be proved. However, the lack of signs doesn't necessarily prove that there was no abuse-just that there was no evidence.

I agree that false reporting has gotten out of hand, but there is no real way of verifying true vs false allegations. As a society we have an obligation to act on the cases where abuse is obvious and proceed with extreme caution in all other situations. I like to think that the CPS officers have better training at spotting the real vs fake situations than the rest of us-maybe this is a cop out.

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

but see, that's what the problem is, "just because there isn't marks doesn't mean your innocent" is the line of thinking is wrong because that's assuming guilty, not assuming innocent.

[Unregistered]

but see, that's what the problem is, "just because there isn't marks doesn't mean your innocent" is the line of thinking is wrong because that's assuming guilty, not assuming innocent.








You make a good point. Part of the problem is that kids who are actually being abused usually don't report it, so the laws are loose to encourage those kids to speak up.

It is interesting that we have a specific, well known process for investigating abuse allegations, but we do not have a generally understood process for investigating perceived false allegations. It would be interesting to see how the law would handle assuming both the allegator and the alleged are innocent.

[St. Louis Blues]

Not to mention the children who are emotionally and verbally abused-----no physical signs there. Doesn't mean they are not going through abuse, just in a more subtle way. Hard to prove.

[Unregistered]

Not to mention the children who are emotionally and verbally abused-----no physical signs there. Doesn't mean they are not going through abuse, just in a more subtle way. Hard to prove.






And legal. True emotional abuse can screw a person up more than physical abuse-but it is hard to define. I would hate to live in a world were parents were afraid to chastise their children for fear of a lengthy prison sentence.

[Chocolate_New_Orleans]

You make a good point. Part of the problem is that kids who are actually being abused usually don't report it, so the laws are loose to encourage those kids to speak up.

It is interesting that we have a specific, well known process for investigating abuse allegations, but we do not have a generally understood process for investigating perceived false allegations. It would be interesting to see how the law would handle assuming both the allegator and the alleged are innocent.

I see your point there, too.

The first step is to be allowed to face your accuser. Stops the attacks behind the cloak of anonyminity (sp??)

[Unregistered]

I see your point there, too.

The first step is to be allowed to face your accuser. Stops the attacks behind the cloak of anonyminity (sp??)







I agree that dropping anonymity is important-but only if a system is in place that guaruntees protection for the child coupled with a very thorough investigation. Having a more thorough investigation would be more of a hassle for the accused, but hopefully it would allow the situation to be put to rest one way or another.

Currently we have a limbo system where falsely accused persons are never really exonerated and abused children are rarely taken away from abusive parents on a permanent basis.